Helping your inner child

The next morning after my session I decided to check on my inner child in my meditation and see how she was doing.  The cage was still gone, but she had been left in an empty lonely place.  I pictured the perfect big climbing tree (I loved climbing trees as a child.) and then in the tree I build her a treehouse.  It had paints for her to paint the walls with, and a corner with fluffy pillows and blankets she could curl up in to rest or read a book.  I build a door in the roof so she could climb high in the tree when she wants, and gave her a telescope to look out around her and watch for any signs of danger.  But it wasn't complete.  Then I remembered a two story treehouse my husband told me about that he had as a kid.  So I built her a lower level on the ground too.  This one had a bookshelf with all her favorite books and a cumfy chair to read them in.  Then I realized she needed help feeling safe to be able to relax to read or paint and enjoy herself.  So I gave her a cat to sense when something is amiss and warn her and then she can climb up to see what is wrong with her telescope.  The cat can also be her friend and keep her company while I'm busy.  Now it is complete.  It is the kind of place I longed for as a child with four sibblings.  I never had a place I could consider my own where I could go to decompress when I was overstimulated.  Now she has the place I so badly needed when I was young.

What does your inner child need to feel safe and happy?  What did you always wish you had as a child?  What place did you wish to go?  Give it to your inner child now.  It's never too late for healing.

"Neither Borrower, nor Lender be..."

So I decided that for my own peace of mind and security I would stop letting me and my husband make excuses and finally learn how to live on a budget.  I talked to my sister knowing she would be supportive, and knowing she and her husband have always been on a budget and know how to do it.  I got encouragement, and Dave Ramsey advice and ultimately enrolled online in Financial Peace University.  So after watching the first three classes I sat down to make a budget.  We had saved our receipts for a month and I sat down looked at my pile of receipts and just started crying.  Then I wondered what was wrong with me.  I hadn't even really gotten started yet.

I reached out for help, certain, after an evening's reflection, that this was related to negative financial beliefs and emotions I had emphatically picked up from my parents as a child.  I got a call from a woman who mentors professionally, and would give me a free first session.  We started with some questions. What were my beliefs?  One was that no matter how hard we try we just can't get out of debt.  How did that make me feel?  Like I'm in bondage to our creditors.  What feelings did this bring up?  Powerlessness. ...  It's just not possible.  Word association...I forget what it was but I came up with a cage.  I pictured the cage.  Am I inside it?  No my inner child is inside the cage, I am an observer.  Ask her if you can help her get out.  She doesn't know.  She doesn't understand how she got here or how to get out or who can help her.  That's okay.  She's only a child, she doesn't understand.  Do you know how to free her?  I can't.  I don't know how.  You need a hero to help you.  You can choose whoever you want.  I choose Christ.  Christ comes down in a beam of light overpowering the darkness where me and my inner child have been.  He holds and comforts me.  He places a key in my hand and we unlock and then lift the cage together off my inner child and it dissolves into light.  She runs to Christ and He picks her up.  He tells her He loves her, she can trust me, I can keep her safe, and she has a mission to fulfill helping others.   He then talks to me handing her over to my care, reassuring me that I can trust myself and that the gifts He has blessed me with have a purpose.  Through trust in Him I can feel secure even while in the bondage of our debts.

Next there are the ties to my mother to deal with.  There is one of light between our hearts but there are a few of darkness to other places that cause fear of things that were her problems becoming my problems too.  I cut only the dark ones with scissors and hand them to Christ and he heals them and dissolves them into light.  What do I want to send to my mother?  Forgiveness, Love, Reassurance that severing the dark cords doesn't mean I'll sever the light ones, in fact the absence of dark ones tainting our relationship makes the light one even stronger.

I was full of peace when it was done.  I honestly believe we can get through our troubles and I can feel secure and have great relationships with God and my husband even as we are trying to get out of debt and build a better future for ourselves.  I began the session without hope for the future, but I ended full of not only hope but confidence in the future, myself, and Christ to overcome these challenges and fulfill the mission God has for me to impact the world around me for good.


Financial healing takes healing of the emotions behind the financial problems.  It is all inter-related and not one aspect can be ignored.  I love you.  May God bless you in your journey of healing too. 

The Truth About Relief Society Part 3: The Teachings of the Modern LDS Church

If you haven't first read Part 1 and Part 2, I recommend reading them first.  Part 2 will be directly referenced throughout Part 3.

In Daughters in My Kingdom, an LDS Church publication about the history of Relief Society, it talks about the founding of Relief Society and about Joseph Smith teaching the sisters it says, "The Prophet's teachings in this setting guided the work of the Relief Society sisters and the priesthood leaders who served them.  Those teachings continue to influence the work of the Church today."  (Daughters in My Kingdom, p. 17)  The purpose of this part is to analyze the truthfulness of this claim and see just how much Joseph Smith's teachings really influence us today.

 Gifts of the Spirit

We saw in Part 2 Joseph Smith teaching about the gifts of the Spirit coming straight from 1 Corinthians 12, and then expounding on it teaching all believers would manifest one or more of these gifts and the women were included.  And the gifts were tongues, the interpretation of tongues, prophesy, knowledge, wisdom, healing, and being healed.  But what are we taught in General Conference about spiritual gifts?

In "Life's Lessons Learned" by Joseph Wirthlin, he talks briefly in passing about the gifts of the Spirit, "We all possess spiritual gifts. Some are blessed with the gift of faith, others the gift of healing. In the body of the Church, all of the spiritual gifts are present. In my case, perhaps one of the spiritual gifts for which I am most grateful is that I have been blessed with an obedient spirit. When I heard wise counsel from my parents or Church leaders, I listened and tried to make it part of my thoughts and actions.

"Brethren of the priesthood, I urge you to cultivate the gift of an obedient spirit."An obedient spirit has never been referenced in the scriptures as a spiritual gift.  Obedience is a personal choice, and more of a character attribute than it is a gift of the Spirit.

In his talk "Eyes to See and Ears to Hear" Kim Clark talks about spiritual gifts and even the day of Pentecost in the New Testament.  "Just before His suffering in Gethsemane and on Calvary, Jesus made His disciples this remarkable promise: 'He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.^'

"Jesus fulfilled that promise: beginning with the day of Pentecost, the disciples were blessed with the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost. Through their faith in Christ, repentance, and obedience, the Holy Ghost became their companion, changed their hearts, and blessed them with an abiding witness of the truth.

"These gifts and blessings strengthened the Lord’s disciples. Although the times they lived in were dangerous and confusing, they received the spiritual gift of eyes to see and ears to hear."  In actuality the day of Pentecost was accompanied by much more than "eyes to see and ears to hear."  It was an outpouring of the Spirit in which the apostles saw visions, and spoke in tongues and those listening through the interpretation of tongues each heard them in their own language.  Yes, in one sense this can be called "eyes to see and ears to hear" as the things they saw and heard were spiritual and only able to be seen and heard if one had the necessary gifts of the Spirit to do so.  As he continues it is obvious he doesn't mean for us to think we can receive the same visions and tongues and the interpretations, no he only thinks, "We need eyes to see more clearly the Savior working in our lives and ears to hear His voice more deeply in our hearts."  And while I agree with this statement I don't consider it to be the same in any way as the gifts of the Spirit and certainly not on par with or greater than the works of Christ as He promised His apostles.

Really it's hard to find many sources in modern teachings about spiritual gifts.  Some talks mention them in passing saying to seek them, but really not much if anything about what they are, or how to use them, or what each one should be used for.  The spiritual gifts found in the scriptures is just not expounded on because it is such a rare occurrence in the LDS Church for someone to actually have any of them, so if we talked about them and brought them to attention we would have to face the reality these gifts Christ promised to those who believe in Him are for the most part absent among us.  I would think that within each ward there would be at least one holding each gift so we could benefit one from another, but in all the several wards I've been in I have never heard of even one person who had and openly exercised their gift to benefit the ward.  Healing blessings I would receive would really be prayers for the doctor to do a good job.

Keys and Guarding Against Corruption in the Church

To quickly recap, Joseph Smith taught the sisters that both the Relief Society and the Church had the keys and that there were aspiring elders who had already led to corruption within the Church and warned them to guard against such things within their Society.  While a search for Spiritual Gifts conference talks generates about two and a half pages of results, a search for keys generates ten pages of talk titles to sort through. 

Spencer Kimball in his talk, "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" declared the comfort we should receive from this quote from Wilford Woodruff, "I say to Israel, the Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as president of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the program. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so he will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from his oracles of God and from their duty."  So not only is there no possibility of corruption but once someone gains the position of leading the Church they lose their agency and are incapable of leading the Church astray.  Many other bloggers have written about this topic so I will recommend you to them.

Searching for general conference talks about corruption results in talks referencing the evils and corruption that is in the world, never within the church or even warning to watch for it.  It simply isn't considered a possibility, or at least not one they want us to be aware of.  But they are more than happy to preach about the keys, and the fact that they are the only ones who have them.

Seeking the Presence of God

Joseph Smith taught the sisters that as they would be faithful they would receive angels, Christ and ultimately come to the presence of the Father all in this life.  It was clear he was talking about now and not some hypothetical or distant future.  Jörg Klebingat in his talk, "Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence" (I actually had hope reading the title.) expounds much more on how to have confidence than he does about approaching the throne of God.  In fact the only time he really talks about being in the presence of Christ or God is as a hypothetical question in his introduction and in his testimony at the end saying, "I testify of a loving Savior who is anxious for your 'confidence [to] wax strong in the presence of God.'"  Instead the body of his talk was about things like taking spiritual responsibility, exercise and eating right, embracing obedience, getting good at repenting and forgiving, and accepting trials as a part of mortality.  All of these things are great, but he neglected to tell us how they will aid us in approaching the throne of God, aside from having more confidence.     All other references I found were either about being in God's presence after the resurrection, or leaving it because of the Fall of Adam.  We no longer teach it as a possibility within this life.

So all these topics taught by Joseph Smith are largely ignored, set aside, or outright contradicted in the LDS Church's current teachings.  I could have done more research to collect more sources, but I found no joy, or light in the things I found and prefer going back to sources of light.  So Part 4 will resume teachings of Joseph Smith to the Relief Society in Navoo.

The Truth about Relief Society Part 2: Joseph Smith's Teachings

If you haven't already read Part 1 I recommend reading it first.

Joseph Smith's Teachings From the 6th Meeting

In the sixth meeting of the Female Relief Society of Navoo, Joseph Smith wished to address the sisters, but before doing so "That as his instructions were intended only for the Society; he requested that a vote should be taken on those present who were not members to ascertain whether they should be admitted." (JSP Navoo Relief Society Minute Book p. 34)  Some sisters were given a "no" vote and before proceeding with the meeting a committee was appointed to inquire about the objections. The committee returned at the end of the meeting to present their results and the objections against one of the women was removed. (ibid p. 41) (This could be examined too in relation to how "no" votes are handled now, but for that discussion I will just direct you here as the purpose of this post is only the topic of Relief Society.)  Joseph Smith wanting this teaching to only be for the Relief Society sisters, shows both the seriousness of the topic and a certain amount of what was going on in the church at the time as you will see.

In just the previous meeting one sister spoke in tongues, followed by a sister who interpreted, and one who prophesied, and after the conclusion of the meeting two sisters administered to one who was sick and healed her. (ibid p. 32-33)  Reports of this meeting came to Joseph and so he chose to address the sisters at the following meeting.  He taught from Corinthians about the gifts of the Spirit.  "He said the reason of these remarks being made, was, that some little thing was circulating in the Society, that some persons were not going right in laying hands on the sick etc.  Said if he had common sympathies, would rejoice that the sick could be healed." (ibid p. 35-36)  He continued on "no matter who believeth; these signs, such as healing the sick, casting out devils etc. should follow all that believe whether male or female.  He asked the Society if they could not see by this sweeping stroke, that wherein they are ordained, it is the privilege of those set apart to administer in that authority which is confired on them -- and if the sisters should have faith to heal the sick, let all hold their tongues, and let everything roll on." [emphasis added] (ibid p. 36)  Today in the Ordain Women movement women are only asking for what Joseph Smith gave them in the first place, and they are being excommunicated for doing so.  Joseph Smith continued to teach the sisters, "Respecting the female laying on hands, he remarked, there could be no devil in it if God gave His sanction by healing -- that there could be no more sin in any female laying hands on the sick than with wetting the face with water -- that it is no sin for anybody to do it that has faith, or if the sick has faith to be healed by the administration." (ibid p. 36)  He cautioned the sisters about speaking in tongues "If any have a matter to reveal let it be in your own tongue. Do not indulge too much in the gift of tongues, or the devil will take advantage of the innocent.  You may speak in tongues for your comfort but I lay this down for a rule that if any thing is taught by the gift of tongues it is not to be received for doctrine." (ibid p. 40-41) Joseph Smith taught the sisters in his day they had the same power to do the the same things as the men, because these were Spiritual Gifts that all who believe have access to.  And the spiritual gifts he spoke of were those found in the scriptures namely tongues, the interpretation of tongues, prophesy, knowledge, wisdom, healing, and being healed.

He next taught them about maintaining their proper place and order within their Society.  "President Smith continued by speaking of the difficulties he had to surmount ever since the commencement of the work in consequence of aspiring men 'big great Elders' as he called them, who had caused him much trouble, whom he had taught in private counsel and they would go forth into the world and proclaim the things he had taught them; as their own revelations -- Said the same aspiring disposition will be in this Society, and must be guarded against -- that every person should stand and act in the place appointed, and thus sanctify the Society and get it pure" He then spoke about not having long and not having many opportunities to teach them, "He spoke of delivering the keys to this Society and to the church." [emphasis added] (ibid p.37) If Emma and her counselors held keys as the leaders of the Relief Society they had just as much a claim to the continued line of authority as did the 12 apostles according to this quote.  And in the context of the church being plagued with aspiring men who had their own goals and not the welfare of the church in mind, the claim of these three sisters' authority might even be more legitimate.  "He said if one member becomes corrupt and you know it; you must immediately put it away.  The sympathies of the heads of the church have induced them to bare with those that were corrupt; in consequence of which all become contaminated --" (ibid p. 38)  No wonder Emma chose not to go west following after men her own husband admitted were corrupt and contaminated. This teaching to the sisters of the church shows that the leaders of the church were already embarking on the road to apostasy, and not only was it very possible for the church to be led astray it was something to very carefully be guarded against.

Joseph Smith also taught of the urgency and importance of doing good and seeking a relationship with God.  "If you do right, no danger of going too fast: he said he did not care how fast we run in the path of virtue.  Resist evil and there is no danger."  When after speaking of their gift for charity some quote often used in the church he continues with things you will never hear at church, "if you live up to your privilege, angels can not be restrained from being your associates -- females if they are pure and innocent can come into the presence of God; you must be innocent or you cannot come up before God.  If we would come before God let us be pure ourselves.  The Devil has great power -- he will so transform things as to make one gape at those who are doing the will of God -- you need not be tearing for their deeds, but let the weight of innocence be felt; which is more mighty than a millstone hung about the neck.  Not war, not jangle, not contradiction, but meekness, love, purity, these are the things that should magnify us. ... iniquity must be purged out -- then the veil will be rent and the blessings of heaven will flow down." (ibid p. 38)  Joseph Smith believed it was possible and wanted the sisters to come into the literal presence of God in this life.  It was something for them to strive for and seek.

Part 3 will contrast these teachings with what the LDS church teaches today.

Auras, Energy Fields, Their differences, Energy healing and what exactly it does

(A post I wrote back in January and some how thought I published when I hadn't)

So, here is what I have come to know, and how it influences my outlook on energy healing. First we consist of a body and a spirit. Both of these are in human form, and the spirit resides inside our body and makes us alive. The body has an energy field or electro-magnetic field closely surrounding it. A youtube video I watched about how to learn to see auras was really about how to see the energy field. The energy field also has meridians within the body that allow the energy to flow, and chakras that sort of pool and collect certain energies. These chakras should be regularly cleared of any negative emotions which have gotten stuck there. The chakras also sort of bridge and connect your body and spirit together.

The aura (for lack of a better word to call it to distinguish it from the energy field) is part of our spiritual side of our being and is much more complex than our energy field. It can move as we will it to. It connects us with the Holy Ghost, and it can protect us from evil spirits as we strengthen it. No person can access it without our permission. I heard of someone who had the spiritual gift of seeing auras, and she could not just see some energy surrounding their body, she also saw things they were interested in, their talents and hobbies sort of floating around them. An energy healer can use their own aura to assist their energy field in their work, but it is only to access the client's energy field.

Energy healing is to help people clear emotional energy that got stuck in a meridian or chakra or sometimes in other places in the body. These emotions can be resentments we don't want to let go or that we don't know how to let go, or bad paradigms we learned when we were young particularly about yourself. Many suffer from beliefs about themselves they just don't know how to overcome. That they are unlovable, or unimportant, or failures. These beliefs become self-fulfilling prophesies as situations they are in they will subconsciously sabotage, till it fits their paradigms and proves them right. Energy healing helps to locate and then allow the good energy to flow again.  

There are multiple modes of energy healing from things as simple as kissing boo-boos to modes as complex as accupuncture.  Some are more geared toward physical ailments, and some are more geared towards emotional ones.  Often physical ailments can have emotional causes, so the two will be interrelated.  A massage therapist who also talks you through releasing a stress so that they can get a stubborn knot out.   Or a counseling session that ends up through emotional healing inadvertantly healing some physical ailment that has been bothering you for years.

The Truth about Relief Society Part 1: The Founding and Origional Organization

My experience that prompted this post

You never know how little authority women in the church have till you are called to a position in which you think you can do something meaningful, just to find out you can't even plan a single topic without permission from a man.  We take such pride in saying Relief Society is the oldest women's organization in the world, but how is it a women's organization if we have to get permission from a man who isn't part of said organization to do anything within it?  To me this doesn't make any sense at all.  I wouldn't mind if women never get the priesthood, but can we at least get control over our own organization again? The High Priests, and Elders can organize their own activities, extend their own callings and fulfill their responsibilities all on their own.  Why should the women need the oversight and supervision of the Bishop to do the same things?  We are treated not like equals but like children.  We don't want the priesthood so we can be Bishops, or Elders (at least most that I know of).  Men can have those callings, we just want the freedom to do what we like within our own organization.  In attempting to plan a gathering outside of normal Sunday services I have to get permission for the topic AND the teacher of the topic.  Apparently this control over the women has been going on for well over 60 years.

So what was Relief Society when it was founded?  Let's look at what Relief Society was when organized by Joseph Smith.  With the Joseph Smith Papers we can go straight to the source and read about the organization of Relief Society straigh from their own meeting minutes:

"President Smith further remarked that an organization to show them how to go to work would be sufficient. He proposed that the Sisters choose a presiding officer to preside over them, and let the presiding officer choose two counselors to assist in the duties of her office -- that he would ordain them to preside over the Society -- and let them preside just as the Presidency presides over the church and if they need instruction -- ask him, he will give it from time to time." [emphasis added] (JSP Nauvoo Relief Society Minute Book p.7-8)

Notice the women choose the leader, and she chooses counselors, all Joseph did is propose the organization and ordain the women they chose to lead them. They can ask him for instruction but he did not mandate anything in the form of policies or anything else, a Constitution was all up to them to create for themselves.

"If any Officers are wanted to carry out the designs of the Institution, let them be appointed and set apart, as Deacons, Teachers, etc. are among us. . . .

"He then suggested the propriety of electing a Presidency to continue in office during good behavior, or so long as they shall continue to fill the office with dignity etc. like the first Presidency of the Church.

"Motioned by Sister Whitney and seconded by Sister Packard that Mrs. Emma Smith be chosen President -- Passed unanimously --" (ibid p.8)

The ONLY role of the priesthood in Relief Society was to ordain the women to offices within the Society, not even to propose or vote on who those sisters should be!!!  Joseph Smith did not call Emma to be the first President of Relief Society, the sisters did by common consent.  Relief Society had it's own funds, and it's own treasurer, and was not dependent on the Church for it's financial means to carry out it's purposes.  Joseph Smith gave the first donation of $5, and after the minutes of each meeting a record was kept of donations including who gave and the amount.  The men present for the initial organization and naming of the Society withdrew before the choice of secretaries and treasurer were made.  (ibid p. 13)

Sisters who wanted to join the Female Relief Society of Navoo had to apply and their membership be voted on by common conent of those who already belonged (this is an action at the begining of each meeting, the sustaining of new members), just as men admitted to the priesthood are sustained by common consent then and still today.  Every meeting (except one when Joseph Smith thought they were growing too fast) started with the sustaining of new members, and a list of those who were added to the Society.  Early meetings talked about the importance of avoiding evil, and in the third meeting Joseph Smith said, "none should be received into the Society but those who were worthy -- proposed that the Society go into a close examination of every candidate." (ibid p. 22)  Much of this responsibility fell to Emma.  

What has Changed?

Today the men decide who will be in various positions in Relief Society and the men decide how much money from church funds can be used by the Relief Society, the men decide what topics we can teach and when and who can teach them. Voting on new members who wish to join has been done away now and any female member of the church over the age of 18 is automatically a member of Reilief Society. We don't make our own lessons, and we don't have our own funds to administer relief with.  Really we don't do any administering relief any more.  We do some service to those who need it from time to time, but most of our ability to give relief has been crippled by the church burocracy (speaking from my own experience and observation).  We instead create our own new organizations (like the Liahona Children's Foundation) separate from the church when we find a need of relief because we can't give relief in Relief Society any more.

Continue to Part 2