An Introduction

Being Raised Molly Mormon

I was raised a "Molly Mormon" very active in the LDS church.  My parents tried to do everything the Church taught.  Family home evening, family scripture study, family prayer, they were never consistent but they were often enough for us to learn the basic doctrines of the church.  I did my best to please my parents and my understanding of God.  As a family we put great effort into appearances.  We had cleaning frenzies right before someone would visit.  It was all about keeping the appearance of being the perfect Mormon family.  I tried to be "good" and eventually went to BYU, served a mission, returned to BYU, but much to my parents disappointment I married a less active member who wasn't worthy to go to the temple, but we went and were sealed 1 year and 2 months later.

Finding Real Enlightenment

 It all changed when my big sister told me she was researching the Second Comforter.  She thought I would be displeased with her new topic of research.  We are both homeschooling mothers and so we would often exchange insights into personal study topics.  At first I thought it was great.  It's something we should all be striving for.  Then she started talking about the leadership of the church doing things she didn't agree with.  This seemed to me to be a separate topic.  My parents freaked out.  My younger sister soon joined her on this path seeking a stronger relationship with God, and my parents freaked out even more.  I reassured them I would be fine.  And wrote a letter to my sister trying to persuade her to believe in the Church.

My letter was not received well.  Apparently the tone was not as loving as I had intended it to be.  After a conversation where she reassured me that she still believed in Christ and Joseph Smith, and that her family would not break up over this, I decided to trust her to make her own decisions for the salvation of herself and her family.

Later I prepared a lesson for Relief Society about pride, and I felt it very important to teach humility as well.  Ultimately the point of the lesson came down to whether we are seeking God's will in our life, or our own will.  Then I was asked to speak the Sunday before Conference about "come listen to a prophet".  I was distinctly impressed that I shouldn't give the typical pre-conference talk, and I began researching scriptures about prophets, following God's will, and how to tell a false prophet from a true prophet.  My talk ended with a warning that looking to the leaders of the church instead of looking to Christ is idolatry.  And the next thing I knew I was listening to some talks by Denver Snuffer and seeking to be rebaptised.

Discovery I'm an Empath


Again a conversation with my sister about her discovery that her husband is an empath, lead to my own discoveries about myself.  As we talked I thought it might be possible I was an empath too.  Many things about myself suddenly made sense.  Also things about my relationship with my brother-in-law.  Whenever I would visit if one of us was upset about something we both would be.

After the phone call I looked it up online, and took some online tests and the results were definite that I am an empath.  I called my mother-in-law who is also an empath to talk about it.  She read me a test over the phone and agreed that I am an empath.  She talked about seeking counseling to help me learn to manage all the emotions I get and up till now haven't understood.  Unfortunately money is too tight with my husband in school to even begin searching for the right kind of counseling.  So I decided to start this blog to process things and try to work it out myself through my writing.