A Woman Without a Religion

About nine months ago I started wearing head coverings.  After a couple weeks of begging God for answers to a question He finally (instead of answering the question) instructed me to wear head coverings.  I did it every day for a few months, and I researched them (something I hadn't been doing about my question; I wanted the easy answer).  I grew to love them for multiple reasons.  I had a halo of frizzy regrowth after some postpartum hair loss that it conveniently hid, it kept my baby from pulling my hair, it kept my ears warm in the winter time, it kept the wind from blowing my hair in my face, and I felt pretty in them.  These were the practical and superficial reasons for it.  The biggest reason to wear it went much deeper.  I felt closer to God by obeying a direction that came personally to me, and my attention was drawn to Him more throughout the day as I had a physical reminder of something I was doing only for Him every day.

So now as I go about my days I've been asked a couple times by people I've met if I'm Muslim.  No, I'm not.  I've never read the Quran.  But how do I explain who I really am?  Mormons don't accept me as one of them because I don't believe in blindly following their modern prophet.  Christians, I've been afraid to admit to them that I still believe in the Book of Mormon, and I believe that bad things Joseph Smith is said to have done, are rumors spread by his enemies.  And for anyone who isn't Christian it brings to mind a variety of bad things Christians have done in the name of their religion that I don't agree with.  I feel no loyalty with the Remnant Movement started by Denver Snuffer.  I'm grateful for the stepping stone it was in my transition leaving the Mormon church, but don't quite agree with some things happening among their group either.  Messianic Jewish seems the best fit, but their services are at times difficult to attend.  And most people have no clue what that means, which is okay, I can explain it to some degree, but not very well since I haven't been attending with them very long and have much to learn myself.  So if they have any questions beyond my simple explanation I'm unable to answer them. Talking to my atheist/agnostic brother-in-law he said, "So you're agnostic. That's a start.  You can't go straight from Mormonism to atheist.  I was agnostic for years before I was atheist."  Almost as if I was on the way to atheism because I no longer believe in the men who lead a worldly cooperate institution.  So I explained that my relationship with God is stronger now than it ever was, and I still believe in a specific God so "agnostic" doesn't seem right either.  And talking with my husband, even he didn't understand my aversion to labels, saying, "We're just Christian."

Labels are a way of lumping people together and associating them with other similar people.  The problem is that most these labels end up misrepresenting parts of that group.  Some people lump together Muslims into one group, and even though the violent terrorists are the minority among them, all the rest are guilty by association.  Likewise with race labels.  People of one group label people of another group and consider the other group to be guilty of whatever the worst people among them have done.  Guilt by association.  This is the most divisive thing we as people do.  And we do it as much with religion as we do with race.  Dividing those who believe in one thing from those who believe in another.  Rather than loving each other regardless of what we each believe and building on common ground, and discussing with the purpose of understanding one another and realizing we both probably have truth to offer the other that we hadn't previously considered.  But instead we are often too caught up in trying to convince others of our ideas to stop and consider theirs.

Ultimately no label fits who I am.  My journey is more complex than that. When it comes down to it, nothing feels quite right except to say I am a lover of God, a lover of people, a humble follower of Christ, and a seeker of truth. 

The Real Love of Christ and Dreaming Dreams

Wow!  I was talking to my sister about her idea to write a guest post and realized it had been a couple months since I've written.  School started, and we've been bombarded by problems that I won't bore you with, but despite all that I think it time I record the next chapter of my spiritual journey.

I joined a group on Facebook about divine dreams, and at first thought it would be just for fun, but the longer I was there the more I learned about my own gift for dreaming.  I learned the meaning of a significant dream from my childhood and threw myself into seeking learning from God about the direction he wants for my life.  Having found joy in service at a nondenominational church after a while it seemed I'd learned about what they had to offer.  Then I started having dreams that gave me the impression it was time for me to move on somewhere that would offer more and deeper knowledge.  I remembered a woman telling me about a Messianic Jewish Synagogue.  I started feeling the desire to learn more about the Jewish roots of Christianity, after all Christ was himself a Jew and taught Judaism, and while the sacrifice of Christ fulfilled the Law of Moses so there was no more need to sacrifice animals, Jesus being the last "sacrificial lamb", there are other aspects of the law that can and likely should be kept.  In my heart, I feel that learning more about these laws will inform me of more of the nature of God and His character.  I decided to seek out and attend one of these Messianic Jewish Synagogues.

After attending a Friday night service I notified the people I served with at the Christian church I had found.  The contrast between their reaction and the reaction I got from Mormons when I differed with them on some matters of doctrine was so stark it was truly astonishing to me.  The reaction of Mormons had been to gossip, shun, or argue or some combination thereof.  Here, they prayed for me and my family and our journey, told me they would miss me, hugged me, and reminded me I was always welcome.  They accepted and validated my spiritual journey agreeing I had to follow what God had placed in my heart and I felt nothing but love from them.  There was no judgment whatsoever.  I almost couldn't believe it!  Was this what it was like for normal Christians?  They just do what feels right in their own spiritual journey, and allow others to do the same, and just love each other with the love Christ preached?  What an idea!  It was such a refreshing experience I almost rethought my decision.  My kids had fun there, and I could do something more productive if the sermon wasn't a topic that would enrich me.  Last week I couldn't get myself to go because I knew the topic was relating to how to decide who to vote for, and I've already decided and this not being a political blog I'll say no more about that, just that it wasn't how I wanted to spend a Sunday.  Perhaps this next week, or perhaps not, either way I know I am welcome and loved there despite believing things that are not common held beliefs in the congregation.  And with that example of Christlike love I don't think I've met a more Christian bunch of Christians anywhere else!

Stuck in an Eddy in the River of Life

Yesterday and this morning I've been pouring my heart out to God asking for answers and asking for help.  My husband is working 60 hr weeks at two jobs, and with my kids home all day for the summer I feel like I'm barely maintaining my household, and not very well at that.  If I get any cleaning done in one room I'm sure to find another that my kids have messed up worse than the one I was just cleaning.  I don't feel like I'm making any progress in any areas of my life right now.  Then while praying this morning the word popped into my head, "eddy," so I asked God, "Who's Eddy? I don't know anyone named Eddy."  I can feel Him almost laughing at me, "Not 'Who?' what!" It suddenly clicks!  I'm in an eddy in the river of life right now.  Just swirling around not really going forward or backward.  What are the eddies of life for?  What should I do about it?  The answer came to just keep doing what I can to strengthen myself and to practice the essential things I really need to master as a mother and homemaker.  Once I'm strong enough I'll be able to break out of the eddy without getting swept away by the current or smashed on the rocks up ahead.  Life isn't like the lazy kind of rivers I see in Kansas it's more like the mountain rivers and streams that have rapids, cascades, and waterfalls with huge rocks every where.  So I should be thankful for the little eddies too that give me the time to strengthen myself and prepare for what is coming down stream, even though I can only really see a small unsure glimpse of what's downstream from where I am.  And most of all it's okay to be in an eddy for a while now and then.  They are there for a reason.

The Truth about Relief Society Part 2: Joseph Smith's Teachings

If you haven't already read Part 1 I recommend reading it first.

Joseph Smith's Teachings From the 6th Meeting

In the sixth meeting of the Female Relief Society of Navoo, Joseph Smith wished to address the sisters, but before doing so "That as his instructions were intended only for the Society; he requested that a vote should be taken on those present who were not members to ascertain whether they should be admitted." (JSP Navoo Relief Society Minute Book p. 34)  Some sisters were given a "no" vote and before proceeding with the meeting a committee was appointed to inquire about the objections. The committee returned at the end of the meeting to present their results and the objections against one of the women was removed. (ibid p. 41) (This could be examined too in relation to how "no" votes are handled now, but for that discussion I will just direct you here as the purpose of this post is only the topic of Relief Society.)  Joseph Smith wanting this teaching to only be for the Relief Society sisters, shows both the seriousness of the topic and a certain amount of what was going on in the church at the time as you will see.

In just the previous meeting one sister spoke in tongues, followed by a sister who interpreted, and one who prophesied, and after the conclusion of the meeting two sisters administered to one who was sick and healed her. (ibid p. 32-33)  Reports of this meeting came to Joseph and so he chose to address the sisters at the following meeting.  He taught from Corinthians about the gifts of the Spirit.  "He said the reason of these remarks being made, was, that some little thing was circulating in the Society, that some persons were not going right in laying hands on the sick etc.  Said if he had common sympathies, would rejoice that the sick could be healed." (ibid p. 35-36)  He continued on "no matter who believeth; these signs, such as healing the sick, casting out devils etc. should follow all that believe whether male or female.  He asked the Society if they could not see by this sweeping stroke, that wherein they are ordained, it is the privilege of those set apart to administer in that authority which is confired on them -- and if the sisters should have faith to heal the sick, let all hold their tongues, and let everything roll on." [emphasis added] (ibid p. 36)  Today in the Ordain Women movement women are only asking for what Joseph Smith gave them in the first place, and they are being excommunicated for doing so.  Joseph Smith continued to teach the sisters, "Respecting the female laying on hands, he remarked, there could be no devil in it if God gave His sanction by healing -- that there could be no more sin in any female laying hands on the sick than with wetting the face with water -- that it is no sin for anybody to do it that has faith, or if the sick has faith to be healed by the administration." (ibid p. 36)  He cautioned the sisters about speaking in tongues "If any have a matter to reveal let it be in your own tongue. Do not indulge too much in the gift of tongues, or the devil will take advantage of the innocent.  You may speak in tongues for your comfort but I lay this down for a rule that if any thing is taught by the gift of tongues it is not to be received for doctrine." (ibid p. 40-41) Joseph Smith taught the sisters in his day they had the same power to do the the same things as the men, because these were Spiritual Gifts that all who believe have access to.  And the spiritual gifts he spoke of were those found in the scriptures namely tongues, the interpretation of tongues, prophesy, knowledge, wisdom, healing, and being healed.

He next taught them about maintaining their proper place and order within their Society.  "President Smith continued by speaking of the difficulties he had to surmount ever since the commencement of the work in consequence of aspiring men 'big great Elders' as he called them, who had caused him much trouble, whom he had taught in private counsel and they would go forth into the world and proclaim the things he had taught them; as their own revelations -- Said the same aspiring disposition will be in this Society, and must be guarded against -- that every person should stand and act in the place appointed, and thus sanctify the Society and get it pure" He then spoke about not having long and not having many opportunities to teach them, "He spoke of delivering the keys to this Society and to the church." [emphasis added] (ibid p.37) If Emma and her counselors held keys as the leaders of the Relief Society they had just as much a claim to the continued line of authority as did the 12 apostles according to this quote.  And in the context of the church being plagued with aspiring men who had their own goals and not the welfare of the church in mind, the claim of these three sisters' authority might even be more legitimate.  "He said if one member becomes corrupt and you know it; you must immediately put it away.  The sympathies of the heads of the church have induced them to bare with those that were corrupt; in consequence of which all become contaminated --" (ibid p. 38)  No wonder Emma chose not to go west following after men her own husband admitted were corrupt and contaminated. This teaching to the sisters of the church shows that the leaders of the church were already embarking on the road to apostasy, and not only was it very possible for the church to be led astray it was something to very carefully be guarded against.

Joseph Smith also taught of the urgency and importance of doing good and seeking a relationship with God.  "If you do right, no danger of going too fast: he said he did not care how fast we run in the path of virtue.  Resist evil and there is no danger."  When after speaking of their gift for charity some quote often used in the church he continues with things you will never hear at church, "if you live up to your privilege, angels can not be restrained from being your associates -- females if they are pure and innocent can come into the presence of God; you must be innocent or you cannot come up before God.  If we would come before God let us be pure ourselves.  The Devil has great power -- he will so transform things as to make one gape at those who are doing the will of God -- you need not be tearing for their deeds, but let the weight of innocence be felt; which is more mighty than a millstone hung about the neck.  Not war, not jangle, not contradiction, but meekness, love, purity, these are the things that should magnify us. ... iniquity must be purged out -- then the veil will be rent and the blessings of heaven will flow down." (ibid p. 38)  Joseph Smith believed it was possible and wanted the sisters to come into the literal presence of God in this life.  It was something for them to strive for and seek.

Part 3 will contrast these teachings with what the LDS church teaches today.

The Truth about Relief Society Part 1: The Founding and Origional Organization

My experience that prompted this post

You never know how little authority women in the church have till you are called to a position in which you think you can do something meaningful, just to find out you can't even plan a single topic without permission from a man.  We take such pride in saying Relief Society is the oldest women's organization in the world, but how is it a women's organization if we have to get permission from a man who isn't part of said organization to do anything within it?  To me this doesn't make any sense at all.  I wouldn't mind if women never get the priesthood, but can we at least get control over our own organization again? The High Priests, and Elders can organize their own activities, extend their own callings and fulfill their responsibilities all on their own.  Why should the women need the oversight and supervision of the Bishop to do the same things?  We are treated not like equals but like children.  We don't want the priesthood so we can be Bishops, or Elders (at least most that I know of).  Men can have those callings, we just want the freedom to do what we like within our own organization.  In attempting to plan a gathering outside of normal Sunday services I have to get permission for the topic AND the teacher of the topic.  Apparently this control over the women has been going on for well over 60 years.

So what was Relief Society when it was founded?  Let's look at what Relief Society was when organized by Joseph Smith.  With the Joseph Smith Papers we can go straight to the source and read about the organization of Relief Society straigh from their own meeting minutes:

"President Smith further remarked that an organization to show them how to go to work would be sufficient. He proposed that the Sisters choose a presiding officer to preside over them, and let the presiding officer choose two counselors to assist in the duties of her office -- that he would ordain them to preside over the Society -- and let them preside just as the Presidency presides over the church and if they need instruction -- ask him, he will give it from time to time." [emphasis added] (JSP Nauvoo Relief Society Minute Book p.7-8)

Notice the women choose the leader, and she chooses counselors, all Joseph did is propose the organization and ordain the women they chose to lead them. They can ask him for instruction but he did not mandate anything in the form of policies or anything else, a Constitution was all up to them to create for themselves.

"If any Officers are wanted to carry out the designs of the Institution, let them be appointed and set apart, as Deacons, Teachers, etc. are among us. . . .

"He then suggested the propriety of electing a Presidency to continue in office during good behavior, or so long as they shall continue to fill the office with dignity etc. like the first Presidency of the Church.

"Motioned by Sister Whitney and seconded by Sister Packard that Mrs. Emma Smith be chosen President -- Passed unanimously --" (ibid p.8)

The ONLY role of the priesthood in Relief Society was to ordain the women to offices within the Society, not even to propose or vote on who those sisters should be!!!  Joseph Smith did not call Emma to be the first President of Relief Society, the sisters did by common consent.  Relief Society had it's own funds, and it's own treasurer, and was not dependent on the Church for it's financial means to carry out it's purposes.  Joseph Smith gave the first donation of $5, and after the minutes of each meeting a record was kept of donations including who gave and the amount.  The men present for the initial organization and naming of the Society withdrew before the choice of secretaries and treasurer were made.  (ibid p. 13)

Sisters who wanted to join the Female Relief Society of Navoo had to apply and their membership be voted on by common conent of those who already belonged (this is an action at the begining of each meeting, the sustaining of new members), just as men admitted to the priesthood are sustained by common consent then and still today.  Every meeting (except one when Joseph Smith thought they were growing too fast) started with the sustaining of new members, and a list of those who were added to the Society.  Early meetings talked about the importance of avoiding evil, and in the third meeting Joseph Smith said, "none should be received into the Society but those who were worthy -- proposed that the Society go into a close examination of every candidate." (ibid p. 22)  Much of this responsibility fell to Emma.  

What has Changed?

Today the men decide who will be in various positions in Relief Society and the men decide how much money from church funds can be used by the Relief Society, the men decide what topics we can teach and when and who can teach them. Voting on new members who wish to join has been done away now and any female member of the church over the age of 18 is automatically a member of Reilief Society. We don't make our own lessons, and we don't have our own funds to administer relief with.  Really we don't do any administering relief any more.  We do some service to those who need it from time to time, but most of our ability to give relief has been crippled by the church burocracy (speaking from my own experience and observation).  We instead create our own new organizations (like the Liahona Children's Foundation) separate from the church when we find a need of relief because we can't give relief in Relief Society any more.

Continue to Part 2

"In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy path."

I realize I've taken a fairly long break from writing here.  Sorry for my lengthy absence, life has been a little on the crazy side lately.

I've been thinking about starting a busniess, but wasn't sure what kind I want.  I'd been thinking about many different modes of natural healing, and with each one the investment of time and money to learn it never felt worth it to me. With each one something was holding me back.  In my heart I'm an artist.  I'm also extremely introverted, and many of these modes of healing were not true to all the gifts God has given me.  But when I thought about art it just doesn't seem to be true to my healing, empathic side.  Then I got the idea of carving and polishing crystals.  Now that's a job that can't just be done by a 3D printer!  And it's the perfect combination of healing and art.  I got some sandpaper, and started polishing a mostly flat side of a raw quartz I had, and I was just so full of joy!  That was when I knew THIS is my path.  It will likely take a year or two save the money to get all the supplies I will need, but I'm so grateful I didn't waste money investing in something that I would have eventually found to be the wrong fit for me and my family (just to start over again with something else).

The timing couldn't be better for me to find my life mission.  My youngest is now over a year old, and my husband graduates college in a couple months.  I can start learning about the business side and any skills I still lack in working with stone while I save the money needed to invest in supplies and raw stones.  Everything in my life feels like it has been working together to get me to this point.  I'll be able to photograph my work, having already studied photography.  I've already worked with carving stone.  My husband has experience selling things online...though it was Ebay and not Etsy which is what I think I will use.  The only thing I lack is the business experience which would be the case no matter what kind of business I would have chosen.  And it's something I can easily do here and there between meeting the needs of my family.  A crystal I can set down to talk to my kids.  A client would think me unprofessional if my family's needs interupted a session.  Thank you, Lord, for directing my path to bring me to where I am today!

"Whoso is looked upon to be lusted after....no wait...That's not right...

I've recently discovered some things about my past, and beliefs about myself that caused physical problems as I was growing from a girl to a woman.  There are some things that are fundamentally wrong about the way the church I grew up in taught modesty. (For example the end of this.) I was taught modesty to such a standard that if a boy or man looked at me and was aroused I was pornography, and it caused serious psychological, and emotional damage.

When men put the blame for their thoughts on women the message it sends us is that our very identity as women is something to be ashamed of. For me growing up it meant guys couldn't be trusted.  If I was the one responsible to keep their thoughts pure clearly they had no self-control.  As I began growing into a woman I grew my hair long and always wore it down to try to hide my developing chest behind it. I was often distracted by my own endeavors to NOT be porn. I felt that growing from a girl to a woman was something to fear and be ashamed of. Then all the while thinking I must be exceptionally ugly because I never went on any dates. This is what these ideas do to women. It teaches them that they need to hide who they are and can't even embrace the shape their body takes (which they don't even have control over) because our shape is evil and turns us into porn if a man chooses to look at us wrong. If guys have a right to not be distracted by girls, shouldn't girls also have a right to not be distracted by whether or not they have sufficiently concealed their identity as growing women? (I ask this more rhetorically.  Really neither is a right, both are a choice.)  Men have no idea how hurtful and damaging this mentality and message really is. The rare occurrence that I might receive a cat call meant I had failed in my attempts to be invisible and had become porn and was therefore evil. Not because of anything I had done, but because a man had chosen to acknowledge my presence in an inappropriate manner. Teenage years are hard enough for girls without putting these extra burdens on them. There was essentially no win for me because I was only judging my self worth by what boys thought of me, and there was no room for them to think anything good.  I was either ugly or I was porn.  My interpretation of the teachings I received about modesty allowed for nothing else.  I was taught no other ideas with which I could decide my own philosophy about modesty.  There was no middle ground in which I could be acknowledged to have beauty without being an evil temptress.  Our girls deserve so much better than this.

(If you get squeamish about women's monthly cyclical nature you might want to skip this paragraph.)  So as a teenager I put tons of emotional energy into fighting my own womanhood.  This negative energy manifested in debilitating cramps every month throughout my period, and sometimes being sick too.  My mother was so awkward too, that I had no clue what was going on with my body.  It took a good couple years before I even connected the two events (my periods, and the debilitating cramps that accompanied them).  I thought I would just lay an egg roughly the diameter of a hair. I hadn't a clue why I was bleeding and cramping, it was just a topic we weren't to talk about.  Now I've embraced my womanhood and the four babies I've miraculously brought into this world and then nourished with sustenance created by my own body, and remarkably enough my periods are very mild in nature now.  I'm still working on healing and validating my feminine side, but I'm far better off than I was before I had children.  I actually know now what is happening with my body and I work with it rather than against it. By teaching girls that womanhood is shameful we cause the majority of problems girls have as they grow and develop into women.  Instead I think girls wouldn't have such hard periods if we taught them that womanhood is a beautiful, wonderful, and miraculous thing that should be celebrated.

The messages we tell our sons and daughters matter very much.  Our sons and daughters are responsible for their own thoughts and actions, and teaching them that girls are porn if not dressed properly is an abusive lie with all kinds of damages it can do to the minds, hearts, and bodies of our boys and girls as they try to navigate their already difficult transition to adulthood.  By teaching the boys that girls are porn we teach them to have anger and resentment toward every girl who they think is not sufficiently covered to prevent an improper thought. Instead we should teach them to control their thoughts and to treat women respectfully regardless of what they are wearing. (demonstrated here) We have been teaching them to judge women based on their appearances, and not their character.  Our emphasis on appearance is in complete contradiction with scripture.  For more about that I recommend this post.  If we flipped this over and said this about men it would sound ridiculous as demonstrated by this brilliant satire.  Christ taught, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Mathew 5:28).  It is the responsibility of each person to control their own thoughts, and there is a definite difference between appretiating beauty or attractiveness, and lusting after someone.  Perhaps if we taught this difference more instead of being so focused on woman=porn maybe boys could look at a woman without thinking about porn.  We condition them to think this way by focusing so much on the negative and not giving any teaching on how they SHOULD look at a woman.  Let's teach our boys how to look at a woman as a daughter of Heavenly Parents who made her beautiful just the way she is.

American culture has become a culture of shame, and that's what needs to stop. We shame women for being attractive, we shame men for looking at them, we shame drug addicts for having an addiction, we shame parents for making informed choices about their children instead of blindly following experts. There isn't anyone void of the shame American culture tries to put on them. Why can't we all just leave it behind and love one another as people? For claiming to be Christian we sure lack the love He preached.  A woman should be able to be beautiful without being objectified or slut-shamed.  A man should be able to look at her as a person and give an appropriate, respectful compliment without her fearing sexual assault.  We need to learn as a people to treat each other as people. Girls and women are not porn, they are human beings, and should be loved and respected as such.  To teach that they become porn when not dressed properly dehumanizes and objectifies them, and is no where near what Christ taught or what is in scripture.  If our goal as Christians is to be like Him and follow His example then we need to let go of the focus on outward appearances and start looking into each other's hearts, but since we lack the divine ability to know someone's heart immediately upon looking at them, this would involve talking to one another and actually getting to know one another's hearts, and withholding judgment about their current character until we have.  May we all increase in love toward one another as we seek a better way, even His way.  I love you.  I hope my experience can help others heal from this abuse.  Good luck and may God be with you on your healing journey too.

"Be not children in understanding..."

Last night I went shopping and brought along my oldest (4) son. When we were in the parking lot at the first store we went to he saw the full moon and got very excited pointed at it saying "Mom, mom, the moon, moon!"
"Yes, sweetie, it's a full moon tonight."
At the next store he saw it again and exclaimed, "Mom, mom, another moon! Two moons, mom!" I explained it was the same moon and we could just see it from another location, but he was sure he was right, "No mom, two moons!"

How often do we think we are right when we might not be?  From our observations and limited understanding the conclusion we come to seems the only one that could be true.  It has to be right.  It makes so much sense.  Of course there's two moons.  I saw one and it was in one place, and now I see another in a totally different place.  It must be another moon.  There's just no other logical explanation!  (At least none that a four-year-old can understand.)  But if when he gets older he never allows me to teach him differently there are many other things he will also lack understanding about, because one false conclusion will lead to many others.  Now, as a parent I'm not too worried about this.  As his brain develops he will be capable of understanding different concepts than he can now.  I expect he will give up the idea that there are two moons long before he enrolls in a college astronomy class.  For all I know he will forget the idea completely by the end of the week.

Sometimes when it comes to the gospel we seem to be satisfied with the understanding of a child, and have quit seeking after the mysteries of God.  We're perfectly satisfied thinking there are two moons, and how dare God try to tell us otherwise.  The apostle Paul wrote, "Brethren, be not children in understanding, howbeit, in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men." (1Cor. 14:20)  How do we gain greater understanding than that of a child?  First we must be willing to put aside foolish or childish notions when presented with new knowledge.  We must be humble enough to admit when we are wrong, and be willing to follow a different path when we learn a better way.  And then be willing to do it yet again, and again, as we come to better and better understandings of God's truths.  Sometimes we have to be patient while walking a new path for the understanding to come as to why we are on this new path.  God might give us a new instruction and we might have to follow it for some time before he enlightens our minds with the understanding we are seeking.  But He will give it to us when we are ready.  We have to trust in His promises that He will teach us here a little and there a little.  This means that we must live in such a way that we are preparing to receive greater understanding.  If we are given a new instruction and do not follow it we show God that we are satisfied with our childish understanding and don't want the further light and knowledge He has to offer us.  The more we follow God the more He will continue to teach us.

The decision to think we know enough is the most dangerous decision we can make in this life.  That is when we will start to lose even that which we have.  Repentance is ultimately when we choose to soften our heart and say to God, "I'm sorry I've been dwindling and stagnating.  Please give me strength to change and teach me more about Thy kingdom."

In the pursuit of understanding a personal revelation journal is key.  The first place to seek more knowledge is in the scriptures.  Are we reading them to check them off a to do list, or do we come to them with a question, search out the topic we need particular growth in, and pray and ponder on it as we read so we can be inspired as to what to change in that aspect of our life?  Another way to seek knowledge and understanding is through prayer.  Our prayers need to be real two way communication with God.  Ask Him a question and wait for the answer.  Write the answer in your journal even while you are still in the act of praying.  Prayer doesn't always have to be kneeling with eyes shut and arms folded.  That is what we teach our children so they will stop poking each other and making faces.  If we as adults still have to do this just to focus on our prayer then we've not grown beyond a child's understanding of prayer, and will consequently never get much more than a child's answers.  You can walk, and write and still be in the act of praying, and it becomes a powerful tool when used together with a revelation journal.  Prayer and scripture study might be typical answers but they don't have to be done the typical way.  Do what feels right for you and your journey.

As always, I love you.  These are the things that have helped me in my journey, and I hope they will help you in yours.  Let us all progress beyond a child's understanding as we seek a real relationship with our Savior, and Redeemer.

"Thy faith hath made thee whole..."

I had the most amazing day yesterday.  I had felt my progress stop some time ago, which is why I haven't written for a while.  There just wasn't anything worth writing about. I was stagnating and I hated it.  Well, I was finally able to afford an online class for empaths, and it's a three part class and I was so hungry for knowledge I listened to the whole first section yesterday.  After my kids went to bed I filled my time with prayer and meditation and some journal writing.  It was the most wonderful evening I've had for some time.  I had been in a state that I wanted so much to help others I was impatient with my own progress and as a result my progress stopped.  I just wanted to get my stuff over with so I could hurry up and help others already.  Now I'm willing to be more patient with myself and take all the time I need for my own healing and personal growth.  I am my only responsibility.  Other people are responsible for themselves.  I can only control myself and my own progress.  I can give advice, or tell people things that have helped me but they must then make their own choice to use it to improve themselves.

I talked to my mother who has been afraid to embrace positive qualities and light because my dad is rather negative, and she'd heard that as you embrace positive qualities negative people kind of just leave your life, and you become surrounded by other similarly positive people.  She feared her husband leaving if she decides to embrace positive feelings and thoughts.  I reminded her that love is the most positive energy of all and as long as there is love in her marriage he will choose to embrace light with her rather than leave so he can stay negative.  Our own well being shouldn't be put on hold because we fear losing someone we love who is not necessarily on the same path.  Our paths do not have to be identicle just to have a good marriage, but it helps if they are going in the same general direction.

My husband got home late after a very stressful day at work.  His shoulders were tight and in pain.  He had worked 4 hours on just one sale.  He made mistakes and had to redo things.  He had about everything go wrong that could except for having very patient customers through the process.  I gave him a massage and talked to him about first releasing his stress each time he exhaled.  Then we talked about everything about the experience that he could feel gratitude for.  The customers were patient.  He now knows everything about selling that particular product having done and redone it several times to get it right.  He had had the choice to go home earlier but chose to stay to learn closing procedures, and the other lady working had other customers to help while he handled this complicated sale, and had he gone home she would have been there alone to deal with all of it herself.  (In the end he didn't get to learn closing procedures because the sale took till well after close.)  He earned some good commission we could certainly use.  When I was ready to go to bed he said it was more than just the massage that helped him, and his back and sholders felt completely better and relaxed.  All the pain was gone and he took no medications for it.

In the end I'm full of gratitude that I finally understand my role in healing others, and it is really one of guiding and empowering them with the ability to choose to heal themselves.  Which reminds me of stories of Christ in which He always said it was their faith that made them whole.  I'm begining to understand.  I really don't do anything.  My mother chose whether or not to embrace what I told her as truth or whether she wanted to continue in fear.  My husband chose whether he wanted to embrace stress or gratitude for what happened at work.  Ultimately it was their choice to heal themselves, and mine to heal me.  May God bless you on your journey of healing too.

"Whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment..."

Learning to conquer my own emotions has been a challenge lately.  My four year old son loves to make piles of things.  And these messes have been a HUGE trigger for me.  Yesterday he emptied all the drawers of the dresser he shares with his brother and sister.  I was so mad it took a lot of energy just to control myself.  He had even taken out the drawers themselves.  Every time I entered the room I was filled with rage at how messy it was and what a huge job cleaning and reorganizing it would be.  I knew I had to overcome these feelings.  I couldn't be productive while I had so much anger, and I would damage my relationship with my son if I gave in to any of the temptations the anger was bringing into my heart.  I yelled and threw things.  I never harmed my son physically, but my outbursts scared him.  I knew I needed to calm down.

I put on some calming heart chakra meditation music, then I used a tapping algorithm for anger, and meditated to clear my chakras.  The next time I entered the bedroom I had no emotion at all and was able to calmly begin working on the problem at hand.  I still have more work to do on it today, but I focused the most on ridding our home of the anger I had felt and filling it with love again.  It has made an amazing difference.  I used to get very emotional about messes in my home.  This habit was damaging to my relationships with my children, and the time wasted being emotional made cleaning them up take much longer than it had to.

Now I think I have tools in place that if I get angry again I can do things right away to rid myself of the anger and be able to really focus on the task at hand.  This is all part of my process of learning my gifts, and healing myself and my home.  I hope to continue to learn how to follow God's command to not be angry, and to love even my enemies, which on certain days seems like my son.  May God bless you on your path toward loving everyone, even your enemies, as well.

"Verily I say unto you that all things unto me are spiritual..."

Today my sister sent me a text asking me to pray for her. She had hurt her back.  She said she could not walk or sit up.  We'd talked about chakras before and after praying for her I sent her a text saying to clear her lower three chakras that are along her back.  After she texted back asking how to do that I decided to call her.  When I called to talk to her she said she had been very angry while doing something in her kitchen. There was a portal in her kitchen, and she twisted her back while reaching down to pick up a shoe of her kids had left on the floor.  As she picked it up she stepped in the portal, and strained her back.  The back pain started when she bent over.  She threw the shoe and then pushed it along the floor with her foot. Afterwards she thought stretching would help her back, so she did some pilates that made it worse.  She had been in so much pain she could not sleep, walk, or sit. Her husband had to take off work and she was lying in bed.

I talked to her about the event, what she had done since (she had gotten two preisthood blessings), and I talked to her about emotional and spiritual problems she was having.  She had closed the portals in her home, but there were more on her property she hadn't had enough energy to do.  She had cast out the associated spirits.  She wasn't angry at her child any more, but was angry at some people in her fellowship group because of problems within the group.  We talked a bit about the need for her to forgive and love them.  She pointed out that she could only control her side of the relationship.  I aknowledged this and emphaised the need for her to take control of her side.  I instructed her first in prayer asking God to help her let go of the anger, forgive, and then have Charity for these people in her life.  After the prayer I led her through a chakra healing meditation session, something I have never done before with anyone.  With each chakra I instructed her to release things I knew specific to her and her situation. When it was over she said she physically was in less pain. By the end of our session she was relaxed enough and the pain was lessened enough to sleep.  I wasn't sure I could actually help her.  I only hoped that I could.  When she told me how much better she felt I was so happy that I had been able to help her despite my huge lack of experience.

She found out later after seeing a chiropractor that she had a comptessed disk, and the associated pulled muscles, which he said is along the same level of pain as a broken rib.  She has gotten through this without going to the hospital or being on pain medication, by using the meditation I taught her.

May God bless you to find whatever healing you need.  If you don't have anyone you think you can ask for help feel free to contact me.

"He that endureth to the end shall have eternal life."

This morning as I was pondering the concept of enduring to the end I realized it is either the least understood doctrine of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, or the most misunderstood doctrine.  I guess I should write about the others first, but they will have to come latter to whatever extent they they are not naturally incorporated here.  There are many sources about Faith, and I would recommend The Lectures on Faith to any of my readers who would like to learn about faith.  I don't think I could teach it better than Joseph Smith so I will leave that to him.

I was reflecting on my Bishop's fifth Sunday lesson in which he talked about the scripture Moses 6:60, "For by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified;"  To me this was clearly about baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and the Sacrament. (I would encourage my reader if they want to study and ponder that particular scripture to study also the verse before, and two verses after it.) Yet these never came up in the discussion of this scripture (perhaps people thought these things were too obvious and not deep enough).  We could have talked extensively about each of them as symbols and how to pursue the things that the ordinances represent.  Instead the discussion was about obedience, following the Spirit, and I guess Christ's grace, we didn't talk much about the third because the bishop said it was the one we don't have to do anything for, because Christ did it for us.  He said obedience and following the Spirit can contradict each other as they did for Nephi when the Spirit told him to kill Laban.  In my mind the Spirit is what we need to be obedient to, so there is never a contradiction as they are part of the same thing.  And the bishop made sure to emphasize that because they contradict each other we are never to tell anyone else what we receive as personal revelation.  (oops.  Here I go.)


So what does this have to do with enduring to the end?  Well, hopefully I can write this clearly.  My thoughts have been jumping around and moving rather quickly this morning.  Enduring to the end needs some terms defined.  Often in the church we think "the end" is either death or judgment as in the end of our mortal existence.  But an "end" will often also mean a goal we have in mind.  What if "the end" can happen before we die, and is a specific goal we should be seeking?  Namely I would say the end we should have in our mind when we say "endure to the end" should be receiving our calling and election sure.  Then I would think that "enduring" is not merely getting through our trials, but rather it is continuing to seek after our end despite our trials and sacrifices that will be asked of us along the way.  Changing what we think of as the end completely changes what it would mean to endure on the journey there.  Enduring till you die, brings to mind the old, "keep on keeping on!"  While enduring to a goal brings to mind working hard to get there and achieve said goal.


To relate this back to the scripture in Moses, when we are baptized we do it to show obedience, and it is a symbol of giving up our old sinful life in favor of a new life that is in line with God's will.  Receiving the baptism of fire and the Spirit is the ability to continuously receive revelation for your life, one or more spiritual gifts, and line upon line, precept upon precept gain intelligence, light and truth and ultimately knowledge of the mysteries of God.  "By the Spirit ye are justified" means that wenever our actions are based on a prompting from the Spirit they are justified.  In the world they say "the end justifies the means," but this is not true.  It is the Spirit that justifies us before God.  An action specific to you (such as Nephi killing Laban) shouldn't be preached as what is right for everyone, we all have different life missions to receive revelation about.  But when it comes to teachings, we are not to hide our candle under a bushel and not share it with anyone.  We should not share mysteries of God that they need to learn for themselves, but things that might help them on that path to gain knowledge of the mysteries for themselves are important to share one with another that all may be edified and rejoice together.  We are to let our light so shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.  The Sacrament, in which we symbolically take the flesh and blood of Christ, is something we are commanded to take often, and as a repetitive thing should bring us closer and closer to God as we do it.  In the scripture, "by the blood ye are sanctified," the way we take of Christ's blood many times shows that this is a long process to sanctify our souls.  It is not an over night occurrence.  Continually seeking to be sanctified by the blood of Christ is part of enduring to our goal of receiving Him in person to have our calling and election made sure.

I hope the light and truth I share here can help you on your journey of actively working towards your goal of coming unto Christ in the flesh.  This is the desire of my heart and that others might see this, be enlightened thereby, and Glorify the Father who is in Heaven.  God loves you and is waiting for you to come unto Him and be perfected in Christ.  May God bless you on your journey.  I love you.

"In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me."

First I would like to make clear my reason for publishing this post.  It is not to gain glory or praise but rather it is to help give others the courage to reach out in love to their fellow man.  God has not led me into harms way, and I trust He will continue to do so.  The world has many needs and until we unitedly work together to help one another there will always be someone in need of a helping hand, a warm meal, a place to sleep, or a feeling of love.  I found one such today, and consider what I did for him to be a small simple thing, hardly worthy of notice, yet not many would do what I did today.

As I have been seeking to be closer to God, I have been praying for the opportunities to help my fellow man and use my gift of empathy and love to benefit others.  Today there was an ice storm, and my husband forgot to bring his ice scraper to work with him.  I offered, and brought it, found his car, and put it in for him so he'd be able to scrape his car off when he gets off work.  On the way out of the parking lot I passed a homeless man with a sign asking for food.  I felt like I needed to go back and help him.  I found a safe place to park and flashed my lights at him.  He came over and I offered to bring him to my home for dinner tonight since I was already planning on feeding company.  He accepted and got in.  He looked around at my four kids in the back of my van and asked if I was babysitting.

"Nope, they're all mine."

He went on to talk about the fact that he's doing what he's doing for survival.  I asked if he had a place to sleep tonight and said I could bring him there after dinner.  He had a daughter but didn't want to ask her for help.  He used to ridicule and judge the homeless.  I mentioned the scripture judge not that ye be not judged.  And we discussed it.  He told me he's a Christian and talked a lot about thinking people shouldn't judge him.  I talked about Christ teaching to care for the poor and the needy, and that that is why I decided to help him.  He asked what sort of gathering I'm having for dinner tonight, and I happened to be signed up to feed the missionaries.  He asked what church I belonged to and I told him, and then he asked hastily, "Is that the real time?"

"Yes, the clock is correct."

"I forgot I'm supposed to meet my sister."  And he gave me directions to drop him off at a church.  I think the prospect of dinner with missionaries scared him off, though it could be that he did in deed forget a meeting with his sister.  Either way I felt good that he could warm his hands and that he had a place to go.  I made it home with just enough time to cook dinner for the missionaries.

During dinner the sisters asked about my day and I told then about my trip out and helping the man with a sign, and his decision to forgo dinner with me when he learned of the missionaries being part of it.  After dinner I had a discussion with the sisters about trying to be close to God and that His Spirit gives me the confidence to do things to help others in need.  I never would have done something like this 3-4 months ago.  But having a prayer in my heart as I go through the day I can have the confidence that if helping someone would jeopardize the safety of myself and my children God would warn me.  But perfect love casteth out all fear, and as I love God more, and my fellow man more, I no longer fear what man can do.  To quote the bishop in Les Miserables, "Have no fear of robbers or murderers.  They are external dangers, petty dangers.  We should fear ourselves.  Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murderers.  The great dangers are within us.  Why worry about what threatens our heads or our purses?  Let us think instead of what threatens our souls."  Let us seek love and charity and if we are on the Lords errand he will protect us, but if not we will know that so too were the prophets of old persecuted and killed.  The only real fear is for our souls.

"And the Lord was not in the earthquake, and after the earthquake a still small voice...."

After returning to bed from healing our home and then writing about it, my baby started to stir.  I was exhausted and really needed more sleep before facing a day with my children.  I closed my eyes and pictured my aura again but this time as a soft arm reaching out to comfort my baby, and encompass him in my love.  He soon quieted and went back to sleep.  I was able to sleep as well with the first peaceful happy sleep I'd had for a while.

This morning I read that there was an earthquake in Oklahoma, and the shocks reached up into Kansas where I live, though they were not strong enough here to really feel anything or I slept through it.  I realized that the spiritual "earthquake" (evil portals opening) happens first and is followed by the earth having a physical earthquake.

I was so excited and happy about healing our home I wanted to tell my husband all about it.  As I started to try to explain it he looked at me like I'm crazy, "That sounds like supernatural stuff."

"Well, God IS supernatural.  'Supernatural' is just our word for things science can't explain.  The scriptures are full supernatural events.  In Moroni we are told that if miracles ceased it is because of unbelief."  And I proceeded with my explanation of the events of the night.

"Why would you tell me all this?  I have to leave in 15 min."

"Because I'm so happy I solved the problem and healed our home.  All the problems from the past few days were caused by this."  And we wrapped up the conversation and he left for work.

The kids got up, and for the first time in a while I was motivated to clean my kitchen and living room.  My children were more calm than they had been for the past several days.  They were no more or less rambunctious than their usual selves.  My husband came home feeling sick, and I asked him if he had any questions before he went to lay down.  He didn't but he acknowledged that our home felt happier than it previously had.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful.  I was actually motivated to get my house work done, which hadn't happened the whole time our home was oppressed.  I called my sister and we talked about what happened.  She had a bunch of questions I answered (If you have any feel free to leave a comment).  She asked if I could do it remotely for her home, but I couldn't.  We talked about the spiritual being created before the physical, and how it makes sense that the spiritual portals or rifts would happen before the earthquake.  Then she wondered if the same were true before storms.  We ended up concluding that there are spiritual storms that precede the physical ones.  She has noticed for a long time that her children fight a lot more right before a storm comes, and her husband, a teacher says the same is true for the kids at school.  It was all so very interesting and enlightening to me.

I hope this is helpful and enlightening to you too. As this world continues to have more natural disasters let us not neglect our spiritual preparation that can save us from the spiritual storms.  I love you and God does too.

"We war not with flesh and blood..."

Over the past 3-4 days I've had several problems in my home.  My baby who had been getting up 1-2 times a night was getting up 4-5 times.  My children were making messes in my living room much much faster than normal.  They were making messes in my kitchen too.  They were constantly fighting.  My son would run away into the yard when it was time to get on the school bus.  My husband was having insomnia.  I spent 2 days weeping, I thought because I felt alone in my journey to come unto Christ.  I was retreating from my duties to hide in our office much more than usual (I'm a total introvert and need my quiet time, but this had become excessive).  Old emotional triggers I thought I had healed were back.  I was having trouble connecting to God, I thought because of these old wounds, or because I just didn't have enough faith.

I joined a Facebook group for empaths, and someone there talked about the earth shifting and spiritual portals opening that let mischievous or evil or good spirits into a place.  While nursing my baby the fourth time last night I became aware of such a portal in my bedroom right between the crib and my bed.  I closed my eyes and spread my aura out to the borders of our property and asked it if there were more portals.  Then I started with the yard, was there one there?  yes.  Is there one in the kitchen? yes.  Is there one in the living room? yes.  Is there one in my bedroom?  yes.  Is there one in the bathroom? no.  Is there one in the office? no.  Is there one in the kids' room? no.  I visualized each portal as a tiny tornado and prayed and pictured it retreating back up into the ceiling.  Then I pictured some means of sealing the spiritual wound, until I had done this to each portal, praying and asking the Lord to close and heal them.  Then in the name of Christ I commanded any remaining spirits to depart.

Immediately upon finishing this process I felt peace and love from God fill me.  The only reason I thought I wasn't healed from my emotional wounds from years ago was because these spirits were blocking me from connecting with God at night as I had been doing very readily each night since I decided to seek Him.  I thought my faith must not be strong enough.  I now know I have faith and it is strong.

Everything started to make sense.  The reason my neat tidy 6 year old daughter played with her yogurt the way my 2 year old does.  The reason my kids were wilder and messier than normal.  The reason my son would run off when it was time to get on the bus.  The reason I retreated to the office where there was no portal. I hope to see immediate changes in their behavior just as I had received immediate peace fill me.

I'm so glad the Lord guided me to that Facebook group where there was an answer to my problem I didn't know I had.  God does love me.  He is looking out for me and my family.  He answers our prayers in real and powerful ways, sometimes, maybe often, His answers are set in motion before we even know what to pray for.  Come unto Christ and be made whole.  He can heal you.  He can heal your family.  He can heal your home.  He is all powerful and no problem no matter how insurmountable it may seem to us is too great for Him who gave His life for us.  And praise and glory be to the Father who provided a Savior for us.  A Savior who is continually saving us, not just once when He performed the atonement, but also is saving us NOW.  As we come unto Him He will help us in our fight.  " For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:12).  The fight is real, and it can be scary, but when we know we aren't fighting alone, perfect love will cast out all fear.  Fear not but be believing!

I love you!  Be of good cheer.  May God bless you in your home too!

"First cast the beam out of thine own eye."

I'm a humble person with lofty goals.  I want to do more to help this world than just raising my children.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I love being a mother, but I feel driven to do more and be more.  I want so much to do something that actually makes a difference for good in this evil world.  I don't care if I'm ever known or if it makes me any money (in fact using a Spiritual gift to make money seems to me to be a form of preistcraft).  I want to please God, and use my gift somehow to bless others.

I'd been browsing websites about empaths, and looking over books, and their reviews on amazon, and most deal with how to "cope" with being an empath.  I don't want to just cope, or get by, or manage this gift.  God gave me this gift for a reason, and it wasn't just to learn to recognize that an emotion isn't mine and then give it back.  I called my big sister for advice.  She had promised to find me a good reliable book when we first discussed my gift, and I hadn't heard back weeks later. While on the phone with her, she found a website that talked about letting bad energies in, then healing them into good before sending them back again.  I loved this idea.  To actually heal others feelings became my new goal.  It felt good to know a goal and know there was someone using her empathy to make a difference like I want to.  It's possible.

Then staring me in the face were my own hurts I've held over the years.  I know the first person I have to learn to heal is myself.  Once I heal myself, my own family will be next and teaching my daughter who I think might be an empath how to heal instead of meltdown.  Then I will see what more God might have in store for me.

Come Listen to a Prophet (unabridged)

More than Just another Pre-Conference Talk

I was asked to talk on “Come listen to a Prophet.”  This seems to be a common topic about every 6 months sometime soon before General Conference.  So I know exactly what is expected of me, but the Lord spoke to me in my heart saying I should not give the talk which I know is expected, and I should give the talk He should give me.  He told me this is a time for me to prove that I fear God more than man.  Listening to the Voice of God is what we should really strive for.  Sometimes that voice is delivered through His prophets, sometimes through other unexpected people, and sometimes it comes directly to us.  God wants us to come unto Him and listen to His Voice.  He does not want us to discredit any source of truth nor to take something as truth just because of the credentials of the person who said it, but rather He wants us to confirm truth with the Holy Ghost.  “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye shall know the truth of all things.”  I hope you will seek the Holy Ghost to know the truth of the words I speak here today.

To start out let us go back to the basics and establish what a prophet is.  From the Bible Dictionary, “The work of a Hebrew prophet was to act as God’s messenger and make known God’s will.  The message was usually prefaced with the words ‘Thus saith Jehovah.’”  This is important because it allows us to differentiate between the opinions of a man who might be called as a prophet, and the actual words that were revealed from the Voice of God to be taught to his people.  The scriptures are full of examples of this.  I think my favorite is Abinadi saying, “Behold thus saith the Lord, and thus hath He commanded me, saying, Go forth, and say unto this people, thus saith the Lord –” (Mosiah 11:20) and he proceeds to call the people of King Noah to repentance.  And then so as to leave no confusion he concludes, “and thus saith the Lord and thus hath he commanded me.”  These days we never here these words in conference by the men we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators, yet we read it over and over in the scriptures and especially in the Doctrine and Covenants.  So to really get to the Word of God for our dispensation we need to go back to the scriptures we received through the Prophet Joseph Smith for the pure doctrines of Christ, as received straight from the Voice of God.  Come to the scriptures and listen to the prophets as recorded therein, for there we know we are receiving the word of God for us, and much of it is specifically for our dispensation written by prophets who saw our day.

What else qualifies a prophet?  A prophet is really anyone who speaks by the spirit of prophecy.  In Numbers 11:24-29 we read,
    “And Moses went out, and told the people the words of the Lord, and
     gathered the seventy men of the elders of the people, and set them round
     about the tabernacle.  And the Lord came down in a cloud, and spake
     unto him and took of the spirit that was upon him, and gave it unto the
     seventy elders: and it came to pass, that, when the spirit rested upon them,
     they prophesied, and did not cease. But there remained two of the men in
     the camp, the name of the one was Eldad, and the name of the other
     Medad: and the spirit rested upon them; and they were of them that
     were written, but went not out unto the tabernacle: and they prophesied
     in the camp.  And there ran a young man, and told Moses, and said,
     Elad and Medad do prophesy in the camp.  And Joshua the son of Nun,
     the servant of Moses, one of his young men, answered and said, My Lord
     Moses, forbid them.  And Moses said unto him, Enviest thou for my sake?
     Would God that all the Lord’s people were prophets, and that the Lord
     would put his spirit upon them!”

Moses did not envy the gift of prophesy given to men among the Israelites, rather he encouraged it.  From this we learn that there can be any number of prophets, and what qualifies them is that the Lord pours out His Spirit upon them and they have the gift or prophecy.  In Words of Mormon we see another example of there being multiple prophets, we read in verses 16-18,
    “And after there had been false prophets, and false preachers and
     teachers among the people, and all these having been punished
     according to their crimes; and after there having been much contention
     and many dissentions away unto the Lamanites, behold, it came to pass
     that king Benjamin, with the assistance of the holy prophets who were
     among his people—For behold, king Benjamin was a holy man, and he
     did reign over his people in righteousness; and there were many holy
     men in the land, and they did use much sharpness because of the
     stiffneckedness of the people – Wherefore, with the help of these, king
     Benjamin, by laboring with all the might of his body and the faculty of
     his whole soul, and also the prophets, did once more establish peace
     in the land.” 

King Benjamin as great a man as he was still needed the help of other prophets in the land.  And they worked together to teach the people.  They didn’t contend with each other for who should have the title of “THE Prophet.”  They cared only to teach the people and establish peace in the land. It did not divide the people rather it united them in Christ.  Today we each have our own callings and stewardships.  We should all seek for whichever gifts of the Spirit help us in fulfilling our callings within the church.  It is fully within your rights to seek the gift of prophesy to assist you in your lessons and sacrament meeting talks.  That we all might come listen to a prophet’s voice EVERY Sunday by attending our regular meetings would be awesome.

What do prophets teach and prophesy about?  This is answered in Jacob 7 while he is discussing with an anti-Christ, in verse 10 Jacob asks, “Believest thou the scriptures? And he answered, Yea.”  In verse 11 Jacob replies, “Then ye do not understand them; for they truly testify of Christ.  Behold, I say unto you that none of the prophets have written, nor prophesied, save they have spoken concerning this Christ.”  From this we learn that all prophets testify of Christ.  Nephi teaches this as well in 2 Nephi 25:26 “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophesies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”  From this we learn that preaching and prophesying is centered on Christ for the purpose that our children will know to what source they should look for a remission of their sins.  No other subject of prophesy will save us and our children.  Any man claiming to prophesy who does not plainly and readily teach and testify of Christ is a false prophet.  As we teach one another we must remember to make Christ the center of our teachings.  And as we seek to listen to a prophet’s voice let us be mindful that Christ is the center of the teachings we receive.

We are warned many times in the scriptures about these perilous times we live in today.  In 2 Nephi 28 he expounds on many downfalls he saw in our day.  In verse 14 he says, “They shall wear stiff necks and high heads; yea, and because of pride, and wickedness, and abominations, and whoredoms, they have all gone astray” (and I’d like to point out you can’t go astray unless you have the truth to begin with, so he’s talking about us here) continuing, “they have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ; nevertheless, they are led that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of men.”  We need to be continuously seeking to know God’s will for us personally. Then as a humble follower of Christ we need to be cautious that we are not lead astray by the precepts of men.  In verse 31 of that same chapter Nephi says, “Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of men, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost.”  If we do not take the things we hear in conference, or sacrament meeting, or our classes, or wherever, to the Lord to be confirmed by His Spirit we are putting our trust in the arm of flesh.  We need to seek not just for a prophet to listen to, but for the direct Voice of God to us.  Come listen to the Voice of God alone in a quiet place with the humility and willingness to follow what He says FOR YOU.

To truly be a humble follower of Christ you need to constantly seek the Spirit to help you discern between truth and error, between true prophets and apostles, and false prophets and apostles.  In 2 Corinthians 11:12-13 we read, “But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we.  For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.”  This was a problem in the New Testament church that led to the apostasy of the early Christian church. Today we seem to think we are exempt from such problems.  However God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and just as he could not take away the agency of those who sought to be false apostles in the past likewise today he cannot take the agency of those who would lead this church astray.  In Doctrine and Covenants 64:39-40 we are warned, “And Liars and hypocrites shall be proved by them [them being the inhabitants of Zion], and they who are not apostles and prophets shall be known.  And even the bishop, who is a judge, and his counselors, if they are not faithful in their stewardships shall be condemned, and others shall be planted in their stead.”  Every dispensation after God calls prophets there are three categories of people, first, those who listen and follow, second, those who seem to follow but seek to teach their own ideas as truth and mingle it with scripture, and third, those who ignore or persecute the prophet and his followers.  This second group who mingle the teachings of men with scripture is the root cause of apostasy.  These are the false apostles and false prophets.  It is NOT the persecution on the outside that leads to apostacy; it is those on the inside, who corrupt the doctrines of Christ and lead astray those who are seeking truth, and our dispensation today is not an exception.  This is why scriptures are always warning us against false prophets.  In Mathew 7:15-20, and 3 Nephi 14:15-20 we are taught,
    “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but
     inwardly they are ravening wolves.  Ye shall know them by their fruits. 
     Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?  Even so every
     good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth
     evil fruit.  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit neither can a corrupt
     tree bring forth good fruit.  Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit
     is hewn down, and cast into the fire.  Wherefore, by their fruits ye
     shall know them.” 

What are the fruit we should look for to tell a false prophet from a true prophet of God?  Galatians 5 teaches,
    “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery,
     fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred,
     variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envying, murders,
     drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before,
     as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall
     not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
     peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance:” 

Of everything we hear from one who claims to be a prophet we must prayerfully seek the Spirit to confirm whether it is truth.  And the fruit it produces will show us whether they are of God or of man. When you do come listen to a prophet, be sure to personally seek the Spirit and look to the fruit of his teachings to see if he is truly a prophet or if he is actually a false prophet.

When we listen to the teachings of any man we need to know how to discern the truth which comes from God, from the errors which come from the devil.   In Moroni 7 we are taught further how to discern truth from error.  In verses 11-13, 16 it reads:
    “For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither
     can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being
     a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he
     cannot be a servant of the devil.  Wherefore, all things which are good
     cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the
     devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against Him continually, and
     inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.  But
     behold, that which is of God inviteth  and enticeth to do good continually;
     wherefore every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love
     God, and to serve him, is inspired of God….For behold, the Spirit of Christ
     is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I
     show unto you the way to judge; for every thing  which inviteth to do
     good and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and
     gift of Christ; wherefore you may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.”

These are the tools given to us that we might not be deceived.  All the things we are taught by men should be put to this test.  Does it invite us to believe in Christ?  Does it invite us to do good and serve God?  Does the Spirit of Christ confirm it in our hearts and minds?  We live in uncertain times but there are things we can know of a certainty if we put it to this test. We can know what is and isn’t of God.  As we seek to listen to a prophet’s voice let us put everything to this test that we may know whether it is of God. 

Now after we have tested and confirmed and we know someone spoke as a prophet, we know their words are true and inspired by the Holy Ghost, because the Holy Ghost has confirmed it to us personally, we see the fruits that they are good, they inspire us to believe in Christ, and to serve God, what then?  In Doctrine and Covenants 68:4 we read, “And whatsoever they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost shall be scripture, shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the Voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation.”  So, we should regard it as scripture and study it with our scriptures.  Most of all we should use it as a springboard for our personal revelation to seek out God’s will for us personally.  Because just listening to a prophet’s voice will not save us.  We are only saved as we sacrifice to follow God’s Voice to us whatever source it comes from.  Let us not only come listen to a prophet, and confirm his teachings are true and from God, but then let us faithfully and humbly act on what we hear the Voice of the Lord speak to our hearts and minds that we should do.

 
And now the Lord hath commanded that I, Camilla, say unto you, this ward:  Behold, Thus saith the Lord, there are some among my church with whom I am displeased, for they set up the leaders and look unto them for salvation.  Behold, this is idolatry, for none can save but Christ.  See that this practice is not found among you.  Look unto Christ in every thought.  Doubt not, fear not.  The time soon cometh, saith the Lord, that my arm shall be revealed; see that ye are numbered among the humble followers of Christ, and not the prideful followers of men.  And thus hath the Voice of the Lord commanded me that I must say and I must obey. 

I bare you my witness that God lives.  That He speaks to His people who are the humble followers of Christ.  His sheep will hear His Voice whatever source it comes from.  Christ is the only name under heaven by which we can be saved.  Joseph Smith the prophet is the head of our dispensation.  The Book of Mormon is the word of God and scripture for our day.  God is the same yesterday, today, and forever; He never lies.  Therefore, any supposed new revelation if it contradicts established scripture is the work of a false prophet.  Let us all seek the gift of discernment to know for ourselves what is truth and then seek the humility to live it.  In the name of Jesus Christ, to whom I will be accountable for the words I have spoken here today, Amen.