The Real Love of Christ and Dreaming Dreams

Wow!  I was talking to my sister about her idea to write a guest post and realized it had been a couple months since I've written.  School started, and we've been bombarded by problems that I won't bore you with, but despite all that I think it time I record the next chapter of my spiritual journey.

I joined a group on Facebook about divine dreams, and at first thought it would be just for fun, but the longer I was there the more I learned about my own gift for dreaming.  I learned the meaning of a significant dream from my childhood and threw myself into seeking learning from God about the direction he wants for my life.  Having found joy in service at a nondenominational church after a while it seemed I'd learned about what they had to offer.  Then I started having dreams that gave me the impression it was time for me to move on somewhere that would offer more and deeper knowledge.  I remembered a woman telling me about a Messianic Jewish Synagogue.  I started feeling the desire to learn more about the Jewish roots of Christianity, after all Christ was himself a Jew and taught Judaism, and while the sacrifice of Christ fulfilled the Law of Moses so there was no more need to sacrifice animals, Jesus being the last "sacrificial lamb", there are other aspects of the law that can and likely should be kept.  In my heart, I feel that learning more about these laws will inform me of more of the nature of God and His character.  I decided to seek out and attend one of these Messianic Jewish Synagogues.

After attending a Friday night service I notified the people I served with at the Christian church I had found.  The contrast between their reaction and the reaction I got from Mormons when I differed with them on some matters of doctrine was so stark it was truly astonishing to me.  The reaction of Mormons had been to gossip, shun, or argue or some combination thereof.  Here, they prayed for me and my family and our journey, told me they would miss me, hugged me, and reminded me I was always welcome.  They accepted and validated my spiritual journey agreeing I had to follow what God had placed in my heart and I felt nothing but love from them.  There was no judgment whatsoever.  I almost couldn't believe it!  Was this what it was like for normal Christians?  They just do what feels right in their own spiritual journey, and allow others to do the same, and just love each other with the love Christ preached?  What an idea!  It was such a refreshing experience I almost rethought my decision.  My kids had fun there, and I could do something more productive if the sermon wasn't a topic that would enrich me.  Last week I couldn't get myself to go because I knew the topic was relating to how to decide who to vote for, and I've already decided and this not being a political blog I'll say no more about that, just that it wasn't how I wanted to spend a Sunday.  Perhaps this next week, or perhaps not, either way I know I am welcome and loved there despite believing things that are not common held beliefs in the congregation.  And with that example of Christlike love I don't think I've met a more Christian bunch of Christians anywhere else!

Commandments of Health Really are Spiritual

I got a gym membership with childcare 3 days ago, and have gone twice now (so sore!) and am resting today (a Sunday).  I wanted to get in better shape so I would feel better about how I look, and have better energy and endurance to keep up with my kids.

Yesterday I was listening to something someone shared with me about how to receive a Second Comforter experience, and he talked about keeping the commandments and to keep them you have to search the scriptures to learn them.  A lot of things on this path I've not wanted to do my own research about, but have preferred to read or listen to the research of others.  Some things I have researched for myself (head coverings, early Relief Society) but when it came to a visit with God I didn't want to have to dig through the scriptures (honestly my mission almost ruined the scriptures for me largely due to the lack of freedom about what to study).  This morning my heart was softened, and I repented of this anti-scripture mentality and was going to start searching the old testament commandments.  So I went to Genesis Chapter 1, and a verse or two in after thinking I should remember to look for the "Joseph Smith Translation" footnotes, the Spirit said, "Then you should really start with Moses 1"  And there it is Moses encountering God and being physically exhausted afterwards.  And the Spirit said, "and you want to see God, but a couple little work outs at the gym leave you sore?  Do you really think you are ready for the physical toll of an encounter with God?"  And I remembered another part of the talk/interview I'd listened to he talked about the laws about what to eat having things in common with the word of wisdom, and there being a connection between health and spirituality.  And this was a HUGE "Ah ha" moment for me.  Surely ALL commandments ARE spiritual.  The LDS Church teaches the word of wisdom like a way to live longer, and sometimes that drugs and alcohol can interfere with feeling the influence of the Spirit, but this brings a whole new insight and reason to be healthy.  Joseph Smith was a farmer and they are strong!  And he was tired after encounters with God.  Now, I'll be working out with a completely different motivation than I started with!  If my health has been something preventing the ability to encounter the divine I will do what it takes to regain the physical stamina I once had before having kids.  Let God and your love for Them and your desire to return to Their presence motivate you to gain the physical stamina to be able to withstand such an encounter. 

Grace and Repentance

Sorry for taking such a long break.  I feel like I'm in the process of reinventing myself.  I've changed what religion I identify as, one stage of life is ending and a new one beginning, and the dream I always thought I would be pursuing at this point in my life is not even in the picture and a new dream completely unlike anything I imagined (prior to several months ago) is beginning to take shape.  Anyhow for the past month this blog has been about the last thing on my mind.  But none of this is why you chose to read this post, though it does relate, so I'll show you how God's grace has been transforming my life.

Each Sunday I've been trying something different a while of just staying home trying to figure out the best thing to do as a family without going anywhere.  I've attended random churches, and I think we've found one that's a good fit at least for our current needs as a family right now.  I've realized some interesting contrasts by attending experimentally some other Christian churches, then contrasting it with a chance LDS meeting I went to on a whim.  The other Christian church was focused on the joy and the miracle that is available to us through accepting the atonement of Christ in our lives.  The LDS meeting was about repentance and was full of sorrow, and the hardship of life and the failings of us as humans, and the sorrow of these failings was the focus.  When we make our focus on the negative things in life that will be what our life will be full of.  When our focus is on the positive, the joy of Christ's grace to become a new person, a better person, in Christ we change and repent without realizing it.  We can't white knuckle our way to heaven!  If you have to "white knuckle it" to resist temptation your heart is still set on the thing you are tempted with and not on Christ.  If your heart is set on Christ, He will help you through His grace to become the new person He wants you to be.  I want to be clear grace is not the ability to be forgiven and never have to change anything about yourself.  It is by grace we are saved because we all are sinners and fall short of the glory of God.  But that grace is something we must accept and embrace and allow it to work in our lives, and as we do we literally become a new person.  I'm so completely different as a person than I was six or nine months ago!  It is all by God's grace that I've had the power to transform my life into something different than I ever planned or thought possible. 

I was going to write a separate post about all the life changes that have happened to me lately that distracted me from my writing for over a month.  But I realized as editing these two separate posts that they really are the same thing.  I have been shifting my focus and changing lately, this is what repentance is.  And through the grace of Christ I'm realizing greater purpose and happiness in my life doing things I never thought possible.  The story of my sabbatical from my blog is the story of God's grace being manifest in my life and me taking the time I needed to accept and act upon this gift.

For the last seven and a half years of my life I've been either pregnant or nursing a baby.  As this stage begins to wind down for many reasons, I've been overcome with the desire to make a difference in the world.  I even wept one night talking to my husband about this desire it was so strong, but without any clear direction.  I want to do something beyond raising children who will have the skills to make a difference in their world.  Don't get me wrong, I believe motherhood to be extremely important and I love it, but I also believe my example of how I use my time and what I do to change my world will also make me a better mother and motivate my children to find their niche to impact the world for the better as well.  I once thought that when this phase of life came along I would start offering private art lessons, perhaps to home school kids.  But there just isn't a demand for this, especially with the advancing pace of technology.  My skills are obsolete.  Now I've made the bold decision to become a lapidary (one who carves and polishes stone sometimes for jewelry, sometimes larger works like spheres, or small sculptures).  Thank goodness for youtube training videos!  I'm trying to settle into my new identities.  And I am full of happiness with this choice.  When I got just a few supplies and started working I knew this was the right path for me.

Hopefully as these aspects of life settle down a bit I should be able to write posts a little more regularly.  How has God's grace manifest in your life?  If you are resisting change that God wants for you, you are essentially rejecting His grace and Christ's atonement.  Embrace his love and his grace and let your life take the beautiful shape He has in store for you.  It is likely better than anything you could dream up for yourself.  May God's grace manifest in your life journey too.

The Truth About Relief Society Part 4: More Teachings in the Navoo Relief Society

If you have not yet read Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3 of this series I recommend reading them first before proceeding with this post.

Joseph Smith at the Nineth Meeting

Joseph Smith addressed the Sisters next in their Nineth meeting.  All their meetings between his talk in the sixth meeting and in the ninth were rather more business oriented than spiritually oriented, aside from some talks about avoiding evil in one of the meetings.  Again quotes in this post will be taken from the Navoo Relief Society Minute Book.

In his talk in the ninth meeting Joseph Smith warned the Sisters to avoid some pit falls he could see in the church as a whole, and some within the Society as well.  "Prest. J. Smith rose, read the 14th Chap. of  Ezekiel— said the Lord had declar’d by the prophet that the people should each one stand for himself  and depend on no man or men in that state of corruption of the Jewish church— that righteous persons could only deliver their own souls— applied it to the present state of the church of Latter-Day Saints— said if the people departed from the Lord, they must fall— that they were depending on the prophet hence were darkened in their minds from neglect of themselves" (p. 51)  We should only rely on God and whenever we put a man between us and God we are inhibiting our own progress.  But to rely on God means you actually have to be responsible to build your own relationship with Him.  It takes real work.  Thus why it is the narrower and less followed path.

The rest of Joseph's Talk was largely focused on avoiding gossip: "the tongue is an unruly member— hold your tongues about things of no moment, — a little tale will set the world on fire."  And later in the talk,  "I do not want to cloak iniquity— all things contrary to the will of God, should be cast from us, but don't do more hurt than good with your tongues— be pure in heart— Jesus designs to save the people out of their sins. Said Jesus ye shall do the work which ye see me do— These are the grand key words for the Society to act upon." (p. 52-53)  Let us use our words to uplift, and inspire one another.  Learning the sin of another is only helpful insomuch as it gives us an opportunity to forgive, and to learn not to make the same mistake ourselves; any other purpose is not of an uplifting nature and should therefore be avoided.

Bishop Whitney at the Tenth Meeting

At first, I was only going to focus on Joseph Smith's teachings, but as I read the talk presented by Bishop Whitney at the tenth meeting I was moved to include some of it here.  He says, "We must humble ourselves and live by the rule given for our practice— we must lose sight of vain things and  remember that the eye of God is upon us. If we are striving to do right, altho’ we may err in judgment many times yet we are justified in the sight of God if we do the best we can according to our judgment. We need not go astray if we will strive in all the energy of our souls to do right." (p. 58-59 emphasis added)  He did not teach to rely on his judgment or even Joseph's judgment, but each on their own judgment, but that is not enough, once you have made a judgment about a thing you must act with all the energy of your soul.  Any who act with this kind of energy will soon find out through such an experiment whether or not they are acting right on the matter, if they are humble enough to be willing to learn whether they err.  Later he continues, "We must prove all things and hold fast that which is good.  There are blessings lying before which are worth striving to obtain. It is our duty to humble ourselves— it  is our most reasonable service to do it— must proceed to receive grace for grace, light and intelligence— if  we have intelligence we have power."  Humility is the willingness and desire to learn; line upon line, and grace for grace is the way to learn. 

He continues on to talk about unity saying, "We may have different views of things, still there is some criterion which all may come to, and by bringing our minds and wills into subjection to the law of the Lord, may come to unity. It is impossible while finding fault with one another to be united." (p. 59)  When we concern ourselves with our own path to God and allow others to worry about their own paths without fear of judgment, that is the beginning of unity.

Joseph Smith at the Eleventh Meeting

At the next meeting Joseph Smith addressed the sisters again this time on the importance of fellow shipping one another with kindness and of avoiding self-righteousness.  "Christ was condemn’d  by the righteous jews because he took sinners into his  society— he took them up on the principle that they repented of their sins. It is the object of this Society to reform persons, not to take those that are corrupt, but if they repent we are bound to take them and by kindness sanctify and cleanse from all unrighteousness, by our influence in watching over them. . . . Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to forsake sin as to take them by the hand and watch over them with tenderness. When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what pow’r it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind." (p. 61-62) The importance of using kindness and love in helping others is a simple matter of human behavior and our natural tendency to get defensive when accused.  To give kindness to those we perceive as being 'not as worthy' gives us the opportunity to grow a friendship and perhaps learn they are not so unworthy as we think, and we might learn of our own deficiencies through the challenges of being kind to someone in whatever way different from us.  Joseph continues,  "All the religious world is boasting of righteousness — tis the doctrine of the devil to retard the human mind and retard our progress, by filling us with selfrighteousness— The nearer we get to our heavenly Father, the more are we dispos’d to look with compassion on perishing souls— to take them upon our shoulders and cast their sins behind our back. I am going to talk to all this Society— if you would have God have mercy on you, have mercy on one another." (p. 62) He continues, "We are full of selfishness—  the devil flatters us that we are very righteous, while we  are feeding on the faults of others— We can only live by worshipping our God— all must do it for themselves—  none can do it for another." (p. 63)  Knowing we are each on our own path to God and that none can do it for another should be a very humbling thought.  We should be seeking knowledge for ourselves, and kindness and patience for others as they seek it for themselves.

Final Thoughts

I hope this series has been uplifting and enlightening for my readers.  As I've read these Minutes I've had a sort of idea formulated of just what Zion might be like and what Joseph wanted for the early Saints that they collectively didn't seem to fully grasp.  I don't know if I fully grasp it myself, but I sure am closer than I was before.  As we fill our hearts with Love and not judgment, with humility and not self-righteousness, with patience and long suffering and not anger, as we make our focus our own relationship with Christ and not focus on man, we will each be that much closer to establishing the Kingdom of God again on the Earth.  It can happen!  God has made it possible through the grace of Christ's atonement.  And Blessed be the name of the Father forever for giving us the power of deliverance through His Son Jesus Christ.  My God bless you on your journey wherever it takes you!

The Truth About Relief Society Part 3: The Teachings of the Modern LDS Church

If you haven't first read Part 1 and Part 2, I recommend reading them first.  Part 2 will be directly referenced throughout Part 3.

In Daughters in My Kingdom, an LDS Church publication about the history of Relief Society, it talks about the founding of Relief Society and about Joseph Smith teaching the sisters it says, "The Prophet's teachings in this setting guided the work of the Relief Society sisters and the priesthood leaders who served them.  Those teachings continue to influence the work of the Church today."  (Daughters in My Kingdom, p. 17)  The purpose of this part is to analyze the truthfulness of this claim and see just how much Joseph Smith's teachings really influence us today.

 Gifts of the Spirit

We saw in Part 2 Joseph Smith teaching about the gifts of the Spirit coming straight from 1 Corinthians 12, and then expounding on it teaching all believers would manifest one or more of these gifts and the women were included.  And the gifts were tongues, the interpretation of tongues, prophesy, knowledge, wisdom, healing, and being healed.  But what are we taught in General Conference about spiritual gifts?

In "Life's Lessons Learned" by Joseph Wirthlin, he talks briefly in passing about the gifts of the Spirit, "We all possess spiritual gifts. Some are blessed with the gift of faith, others the gift of healing. In the body of the Church, all of the spiritual gifts are present. In my case, perhaps one of the spiritual gifts for which I am most grateful is that I have been blessed with an obedient spirit. When I heard wise counsel from my parents or Church leaders, I listened and tried to make it part of my thoughts and actions.

"Brethren of the priesthood, I urge you to cultivate the gift of an obedient spirit."An obedient spirit has never been referenced in the scriptures as a spiritual gift.  Obedience is a personal choice, and more of a character attribute than it is a gift of the Spirit.

In his talk "Eyes to See and Ears to Hear" Kim Clark talks about spiritual gifts and even the day of Pentecost in the New Testament.  "Just before His suffering in Gethsemane and on Calvary, Jesus made His disciples this remarkable promise: 'He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.^'

"Jesus fulfilled that promise: beginning with the day of Pentecost, the disciples were blessed with the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost. Through their faith in Christ, repentance, and obedience, the Holy Ghost became their companion, changed their hearts, and blessed them with an abiding witness of the truth.

"These gifts and blessings strengthened the Lord’s disciples. Although the times they lived in were dangerous and confusing, they received the spiritual gift of eyes to see and ears to hear."  In actuality the day of Pentecost was accompanied by much more than "eyes to see and ears to hear."  It was an outpouring of the Spirit in which the apostles saw visions, and spoke in tongues and those listening through the interpretation of tongues each heard them in their own language.  Yes, in one sense this can be called "eyes to see and ears to hear" as the things they saw and heard were spiritual and only able to be seen and heard if one had the necessary gifts of the Spirit to do so.  As he continues it is obvious he doesn't mean for us to think we can receive the same visions and tongues and the interpretations, no he only thinks, "We need eyes to see more clearly the Savior working in our lives and ears to hear His voice more deeply in our hearts."  And while I agree with this statement I don't consider it to be the same in any way as the gifts of the Spirit and certainly not on par with or greater than the works of Christ as He promised His apostles.

Really it's hard to find many sources in modern teachings about spiritual gifts.  Some talks mention them in passing saying to seek them, but really not much if anything about what they are, or how to use them, or what each one should be used for.  The spiritual gifts found in the scriptures is just not expounded on because it is such a rare occurrence in the LDS Church for someone to actually have any of them, so if we talked about them and brought them to attention we would have to face the reality these gifts Christ promised to those who believe in Him are for the most part absent among us.  I would think that within each ward there would be at least one holding each gift so we could benefit one from another, but in all the several wards I've been in I have never heard of even one person who had and openly exercised their gift to benefit the ward.  Healing blessings I would receive would really be prayers for the doctor to do a good job.

Keys and Guarding Against Corruption in the Church

To quickly recap, Joseph Smith taught the sisters that both the Relief Society and the Church had the keys and that there were aspiring elders who had already led to corruption within the Church and warned them to guard against such things within their Society.  While a search for Spiritual Gifts conference talks generates about two and a half pages of results, a search for keys generates ten pages of talk titles to sort through. 

Spencer Kimball in his talk, "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" declared the comfort we should receive from this quote from Wilford Woodruff, "I say to Israel, the Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as president of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the program. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so he will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from his oracles of God and from their duty."  So not only is there no possibility of corruption but once someone gains the position of leading the Church they lose their agency and are incapable of leading the Church astray.  Many other bloggers have written about this topic so I will recommend you to them.

Searching for general conference talks about corruption results in talks referencing the evils and corruption that is in the world, never within the church or even warning to watch for it.  It simply isn't considered a possibility, or at least not one they want us to be aware of.  But they are more than happy to preach about the keys, and the fact that they are the only ones who have them.

Seeking the Presence of God

Joseph Smith taught the sisters that as they would be faithful they would receive angels, Christ and ultimately come to the presence of the Father all in this life.  It was clear he was talking about now and not some hypothetical or distant future.  Jörg Klebingat in his talk, "Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence" (I actually had hope reading the title.) expounds much more on how to have confidence than he does about approaching the throne of God.  In fact the only time he really talks about being in the presence of Christ or God is as a hypothetical question in his introduction and in his testimony at the end saying, "I testify of a loving Savior who is anxious for your 'confidence [to] wax strong in the presence of God.'"  Instead the body of his talk was about things like taking spiritual responsibility, exercise and eating right, embracing obedience, getting good at repenting and forgiving, and accepting trials as a part of mortality.  All of these things are great, but he neglected to tell us how they will aid us in approaching the throne of God, aside from having more confidence.     All other references I found were either about being in God's presence after the resurrection, or leaving it because of the Fall of Adam.  We no longer teach it as a possibility within this life.

So all these topics taught by Joseph Smith are largely ignored, set aside, or outright contradicted in the LDS Church's current teachings.  I could have done more research to collect more sources, but I found no joy, or light in the things I found and prefer going back to sources of light.  So Part 4 will resume teachings of Joseph Smith to the Relief Society in Navoo.

"Man looketh on the outward appearances but the Lord looketh on the heart."

So last night I was having a great conversation with my husband.  We ended up talking about how within the LDS church we've made extensive lists of things to do and things not to do and as long as you follow the lists you'll be fine. So at some point during our conversation last night my husband had his epiphany and this is the analogy he came up with - Checklists are just a giant empty box!  They're so huge, and they look so important, but there's nothing at all inside.  They are completely empty unless you're one of the few who figures out how to put something into them.  They're the size of our driveway, and they're black.  They demand our attention and declare themselves to be so important, but they give you nothing.  And I just couldn't agree more!  Yes!  He gets it!

I had tried to explain this to him before, talking about the Pharisees in the Bible, and how we have become a Pharisaical people.  But he's unfamiliar with New Testament scripture, and the analogy was meaningless to him.  I often forget just how different the homes we grew up in really were.  His family read scriptures to check them off a to do list.  There was never really any discussion or teaching involved.  In my home we had gospel discussions all the time.  Some how I was able to see beyond the checklist to the heart and what our heart should be.  Jesus hated the checklists of the Pharisees.  He just wanted people to understand to love one another.  So much is solved with that alone.  We don't do nearly enough teaching about where our heart should be and how to really gain true Charity the pure love of Christ.

My husband came to the conclusion that this was why he fell away from the church during his early adult life.  The list was empty and he never managed to see beyond it to what God really wanted in his heart.  It was just a matter of being too busy doing stuff to do bad stuff.  So when he just didn't really feel like it anymore, and he saw no real purpose in any of it, he went off to do other stuff. 

This is why Christ focused so much more on the heart.  "If you give a gift grudgingly it is counted as if you had retained it."  "When you pray use not vein repetitions to be heard for your much speaking."  "The widow giving her mite gives more that the wealthy with all their tens of thousands."  Why?  Because the widow was giving not just money, she was giving her heart.  The wealthy were just giving their easily disposable income to be seen and praised by others.  They were not giving their heart only a few actions on their checklist to heaven.  People who use vein repetitions in their prayers aren't even really praying.  They are going through the motions, but their heart is looking sideways to see who of their fellow men is impressed by their prayer.  Their heart is not connecting to God the way prayer is supposed to help it do.

So here's the thing. The giant black demanding checklist box doesn't have heaven inside, it has emptiness.  Emptiness is all you can gain by focusing on the checklist outside you.  But when you stop looking at the checklist and look up to God, and then He directs your attention inward.  You would be surprised to learn how many things on the list He really doesn't care about.  It's a man-made list.  He didn't build the box, we did.  He wants our heart.  He wants our love.  He wants us to love each other.  And it breaks His heart when we are so focused on our outward appearances that we neglect to see that the whole time we were so focused on the list Satan had a heyday wreaking havoc in our hearts, and we didn't even notice.  Then we realize one day that we are no where near the narrow path we thought we were on, and we look back at our tracks to see where we came off it, and we realize we were never on it in the first place.  God looks on the inward parts of us, at our mind and heart and desires, and until those parts are cleansed and united with God EVERYTHING on your list is MEANINGLESS and will not save you in the least. 

So I ask, "Have ye felt this mighty change of heart?  And if so do ye feel so now?"  We each have the choice to repent and not just change what checklist we are using each day, but actually have a real change in our hearts as we choose to devote them to the God who is eagerly waiting to embrace us.  He and She and their Son are waiting to embrace you.  Come unto Them.  May you have a beautiful reunion with Them.  They love you so much!

"Love thy neighbor as thyself..."

Some time ago, my husband went to bed early, and I had time to myself in the evening.  I finished reading a chapter from the book Feelings Buried Alive Never Die.  It talked about love and the power love has to heal and to cast off fear.  And so loving oneself is important to being able to heal.  Also loving the situation you are in so you will be open to learning what you need to to be able to grow and improve your situation.  The book obviously expresses it better and more extensively.
I was very inspired, and decided to meditate to open my chakras and pray before bed. I was almost immediately able to feel the energy flowing through me.  I still went through each chakra. It was the most relaxing and rejuvenating evening I'd had for a while, and it reminded me how good it feels to really take time for myself.

 Now I'm much further in the book and have seen the power of the healing tool it gives you.  I remember while going to therapy for depression it seemed no matter how many times I told myself I loved myself I just couldn't seem to get myself to FEEL it.  All positive affirmations just felt like lies to me.  They did nothing.  I could think I matter and my needs matter, but however hard I tried it seemed my feelings just didn't believe me.  It took years of therapy to convince myself that my needs do matter, though I still thought they didn't matter as much as everyone else's.  Now it's been a good couple weeks since I first used the tool to teach myself to love myself, and to believe that I and my needs matter.  The changes have been subtle (likely because I had already been working on these things for years.) but I take the time drink water when I'm thirsty, I remember to take my vitamins, I've started eating fruits and vegetables again and I've managed to create a healthier balance between caring for and meeting the needs of my family, and meeting my own needs.  So far it has been better than the ways therapy worked.  I would discover a problem and it would take the next 6 months to a year to try to work through it, white-knuckling it and trying to just tell myself to feel better already, just to relapse again with the next fluctuation in my hormones. This feels like the real healing I'd been seeking all that time.

As always good luck on your journey.  I can't recommend this book enough.  It has been a total game changer for me, and for others I've used it to help as well.  More than anything we need more people to love themselves so they can better feel God's love and extend it to others.  We are to love our neighbor as our self, but are a society of people who don't even love ourselves.  As we learn to love ourselves our capacity to love other greatly increases.  As we each choose to heal ourselves we then will be able to heal our communities, states, and countries.  The answer to all the problems in politics isn't in who we elect.  (When I see a candidate actually sincerely love people I might start to care about politics again.)  It starts within ourselves.  Love yourself, then turn around and love your neighbor, and when you do you won't be able to help but want to help him out.  This is how God works.  Let us start within ourselves first.

"The Lord maketh no such things known unto us..."

How many of us go to class studying the Book of Mormon, and we talk about how great Nephi is, and how bad Laman and Lemuel are, but then when it comes to having the faith that we can have visions just as Nephi did we hear things like, "But most of us just get a feeling in our heart."  Or even this quote from a general authority which was then quoted by other general authorities stating:  "[We] should [bear] in mind that some of the General Authorities have had assigned to them a special calling; they possess a special gift; they are sustained as prophets, seers, and revelators, which gives them a special spiritual endowment in connection with their teaching of the people. They have the right, the power, and authority to declare the mind and will of God to his people, subject to the over-all power and authority of the President of the Church. Others of the General Authorities are not given this special spiritual endowment and authority covering their teaching; they have a resulting limitation, and the resulting limitation upon their power and authority in teaching applies to every other officer and member of the Church, for none of them is spiritually endowed as a prophet, seer, and revelator. Furthermore, as just indicated, the President of the Church has a further and special spiritual endowment in this respect, for he is the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator for the whole Church."  In other words, "The Lord maketh such things known unto us (The First presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles), but ye need not inquire of the Lord for He maketh no such things known unto you. Now sit down, be quiet, and follow the damn prophet!  oops, I mean our beloved prophet."  We hear this sort of thing so much that even when we try to shake off the chains of unbelief we still fall into this trap on a subconscious level.  Only the church's elite are allowed to receive revelation and if you think you did then you are obviously getting it from the wrong source.  At least this is what they want us to think.  But who are we to tell God who he can and can't give certain spiritual gifts to?  If God wants to He can call and make anyone worthy a prophet, or seer, or revelator.  Does being sustained automatically give you those gifts?  No, it only gives you the responsibility to seek them out.

We hear this idea so often that we start to believe it.  It's most typical form is the admonition to follow the prophet instead of following the Spirit and the direct revelation we can receive from God for ourselves.  I remember a time when being taught to confirm the truth of things taught was a normal occurrence.  Now that seems to have faded from our teaching with a huge emphasis on following the prophet replacing it.  As I've been trying to increase my relationship with God, and remove all the unbelief I thought this was the first thing to go.  It has to go to make room for the belief in personal revelation.  But as I was discussing with some friends a frustration I have about not knowing what to do with my Sundays as a family to make it a better day of worship, one person talked about having the Lord guide what we should do.  And the first thought that came to my mind was that the Lord wouldn't tell me, and that I couldn't get the guidance I wanted from Him.  Then I had a huge epiphany.  "Oh my goodness!  I am Laman and Lemuel!  I've had this idea drilled into me so much I've come to believe like they did that, 'The Lord maketh no such thing known unto us.' (1 Nephi 15:9)"  When reading the scriptures it becomes clear that the reason God didn't talk to Laman and Lemuel is because they never humbled themselves to ask.  Each of Lehi's sons could have had Nephi's vision for themselves but Nephi was the only one who asked for it. 

For every step forward I make I have to fight off an old paradigm that has kept me in spiritual bondage and has been inhibiting my progress.  This deeply ingrained belief that the most God will ever guide me is through vague feelings and never a more direct revelation has held me back on many occasions.  Everyone has every right to receive revelation and in ways that are more than just feelings. Anyone who tells you they are between you and the Lord is seeking to put you into spiritual bondage under them.  If God is the leader let us each be led directly by Him!  The ONLY middle man in your salvation is the Lord Jesus Christ himself.  He is the middle man because He did the work.  He paid for your sins after He lived a perfect life.  And praise be to the Father for sending Him.  We each have a spiritual mission in this life to fulfill, and if we continue to believe that we can't get our own revelation for our own life we will never come to a place that God can teach us what it is and how to fulfill it.  Now awake and arise from the dust.  Shake off the chains which have you bound.  Fear not but be believing.  Whatever heartaches you have to bare will bring you that much closer to the Savior who carried the ultimate heartache, even the sins of the world.  And He will be your comfort as you bare yours.

"Be not children in understanding..."

Last night I went shopping and brought along my oldest (4) son. When we were in the parking lot at the first store we went to he saw the full moon and got very excited pointed at it saying "Mom, mom, the moon, moon!"
"Yes, sweetie, it's a full moon tonight."
At the next store he saw it again and exclaimed, "Mom, mom, another moon! Two moons, mom!" I explained it was the same moon and we could just see it from another location, but he was sure he was right, "No mom, two moons!"

How often do we think we are right when we might not be?  From our observations and limited understanding the conclusion we come to seems the only one that could be true.  It has to be right.  It makes so much sense.  Of course there's two moons.  I saw one and it was in one place, and now I see another in a totally different place.  It must be another moon.  There's just no other logical explanation!  (At least none that a four-year-old can understand.)  But if when he gets older he never allows me to teach him differently there are many other things he will also lack understanding about, because one false conclusion will lead to many others.  Now, as a parent I'm not too worried about this.  As his brain develops he will be capable of understanding different concepts than he can now.  I expect he will give up the idea that there are two moons long before he enrolls in a college astronomy class.  For all I know he will forget the idea completely by the end of the week.

Sometimes when it comes to the gospel we seem to be satisfied with the understanding of a child, and have quit seeking after the mysteries of God.  We're perfectly satisfied thinking there are two moons, and how dare God try to tell us otherwise.  The apostle Paul wrote, "Brethren, be not children in understanding, howbeit, in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men." (1Cor. 14:20)  How do we gain greater understanding than that of a child?  First we must be willing to put aside foolish or childish notions when presented with new knowledge.  We must be humble enough to admit when we are wrong, and be willing to follow a different path when we learn a better way.  And then be willing to do it yet again, and again, as we come to better and better understandings of God's truths.  Sometimes we have to be patient while walking a new path for the understanding to come as to why we are on this new path.  God might give us a new instruction and we might have to follow it for some time before he enlightens our minds with the understanding we are seeking.  But He will give it to us when we are ready.  We have to trust in His promises that He will teach us here a little and there a little.  This means that we must live in such a way that we are preparing to receive greater understanding.  If we are given a new instruction and do not follow it we show God that we are satisfied with our childish understanding and don't want the further light and knowledge He has to offer us.  The more we follow God the more He will continue to teach us.

The decision to think we know enough is the most dangerous decision we can make in this life.  That is when we will start to lose even that which we have.  Repentance is ultimately when we choose to soften our heart and say to God, "I'm sorry I've been dwindling and stagnating.  Please give me strength to change and teach me more about Thy kingdom."

In the pursuit of understanding a personal revelation journal is key.  The first place to seek more knowledge is in the scriptures.  Are we reading them to check them off a to do list, or do we come to them with a question, search out the topic we need particular growth in, and pray and ponder on it as we read so we can be inspired as to what to change in that aspect of our life?  Another way to seek knowledge and understanding is through prayer.  Our prayers need to be real two way communication with God.  Ask Him a question and wait for the answer.  Write the answer in your journal even while you are still in the act of praying.  Prayer doesn't always have to be kneeling with eyes shut and arms folded.  That is what we teach our children so they will stop poking each other and making faces.  If we as adults still have to do this just to focus on our prayer then we've not grown beyond a child's understanding of prayer, and will consequently never get much more than a child's answers.  You can walk, and write and still be in the act of praying, and it becomes a powerful tool when used together with a revelation journal.  Prayer and scripture study might be typical answers but they don't have to be done the typical way.  Do what feels right for you and your journey.

As always, I love you.  These are the things that have helped me in my journey, and I hope they will help you in yours.  Let us all progress beyond a child's understanding as we seek a real relationship with our Savior, and Redeemer.

"Thy faith hath made thee whole..."

I had the most amazing day yesterday.  I had felt my progress stop some time ago, which is why I haven't written for a while.  There just wasn't anything worth writing about. I was stagnating and I hated it.  Well, I was finally able to afford an online class for empaths, and it's a three part class and I was so hungry for knowledge I listened to the whole first section yesterday.  After my kids went to bed I filled my time with prayer and meditation and some journal writing.  It was the most wonderful evening I've had for some time.  I had been in a state that I wanted so much to help others I was impatient with my own progress and as a result my progress stopped.  I just wanted to get my stuff over with so I could hurry up and help others already.  Now I'm willing to be more patient with myself and take all the time I need for my own healing and personal growth.  I am my only responsibility.  Other people are responsible for themselves.  I can only control myself and my own progress.  I can give advice, or tell people things that have helped me but they must then make their own choice to use it to improve themselves.

I talked to my mother who has been afraid to embrace positive qualities and light because my dad is rather negative, and she'd heard that as you embrace positive qualities negative people kind of just leave your life, and you become surrounded by other similarly positive people.  She feared her husband leaving if she decides to embrace positive feelings and thoughts.  I reminded her that love is the most positive energy of all and as long as there is love in her marriage he will choose to embrace light with her rather than leave so he can stay negative.  Our own well being shouldn't be put on hold because we fear losing someone we love who is not necessarily on the same path.  Our paths do not have to be identicle just to have a good marriage, but it helps if they are going in the same general direction.

My husband got home late after a very stressful day at work.  His shoulders were tight and in pain.  He had worked 4 hours on just one sale.  He made mistakes and had to redo things.  He had about everything go wrong that could except for having very patient customers through the process.  I gave him a massage and talked to him about first releasing his stress each time he exhaled.  Then we talked about everything about the experience that he could feel gratitude for.  The customers were patient.  He now knows everything about selling that particular product having done and redone it several times to get it right.  He had had the choice to go home earlier but chose to stay to learn closing procedures, and the other lady working had other customers to help while he handled this complicated sale, and had he gone home she would have been there alone to deal with all of it herself.  (In the end he didn't get to learn closing procedures because the sale took till well after close.)  He earned some good commission we could certainly use.  When I was ready to go to bed he said it was more than just the massage that helped him, and his back and sholders felt completely better and relaxed.  All the pain was gone and he took no medications for it.

In the end I'm full of gratitude that I finally understand my role in healing others, and it is really one of guiding and empowering them with the ability to choose to heal themselves.  Which reminds me of stories of Christ in which He always said it was their faith that made them whole.  I'm begining to understand.  I really don't do anything.  My mother chose whether or not to embrace what I told her as truth or whether she wanted to continue in fear.  My husband chose whether he wanted to embrace stress or gratitude for what happened at work.  Ultimately it was their choice to heal themselves, and mine to heal me.  May God bless you on your journey of healing too.

"Whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment..."

Learning to conquer my own emotions has been a challenge lately.  My four year old son loves to make piles of things.  And these messes have been a HUGE trigger for me.  Yesterday he emptied all the drawers of the dresser he shares with his brother and sister.  I was so mad it took a lot of energy just to control myself.  He had even taken out the drawers themselves.  Every time I entered the room I was filled with rage at how messy it was and what a huge job cleaning and reorganizing it would be.  I knew I had to overcome these feelings.  I couldn't be productive while I had so much anger, and I would damage my relationship with my son if I gave in to any of the temptations the anger was bringing into my heart.  I yelled and threw things.  I never harmed my son physically, but my outbursts scared him.  I knew I needed to calm down.

I put on some calming heart chakra meditation music, then I used a tapping algorithm for anger, and meditated to clear my chakras.  The next time I entered the bedroom I had no emotion at all and was able to calmly begin working on the problem at hand.  I still have more work to do on it today, but I focused the most on ridding our home of the anger I had felt and filling it with love again.  It has made an amazing difference.  I used to get very emotional about messes in my home.  This habit was damaging to my relationships with my children, and the time wasted being emotional made cleaning them up take much longer than it had to.

Now I think I have tools in place that if I get angry again I can do things right away to rid myself of the anger and be able to really focus on the task at hand.  This is all part of my process of learning my gifts, and healing myself and my home.  I hope to continue to learn how to follow God's command to not be angry, and to love even my enemies, which on certain days seems like my son.  May God bless you on your path toward loving everyone, even your enemies, as well.

"He that endureth to the end shall have eternal life."

This morning as I was pondering the concept of enduring to the end I realized it is either the least understood doctrine of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, or the most misunderstood doctrine.  I guess I should write about the others first, but they will have to come latter to whatever extent they they are not naturally incorporated here.  There are many sources about Faith, and I would recommend The Lectures on Faith to any of my readers who would like to learn about faith.  I don't think I could teach it better than Joseph Smith so I will leave that to him.

I was reflecting on my Bishop's fifth Sunday lesson in which he talked about the scripture Moses 6:60, "For by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified;"  To me this was clearly about baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and the Sacrament. (I would encourage my reader if they want to study and ponder that particular scripture to study also the verse before, and two verses after it.) Yet these never came up in the discussion of this scripture (perhaps people thought these things were too obvious and not deep enough).  We could have talked extensively about each of them as symbols and how to pursue the things that the ordinances represent.  Instead the discussion was about obedience, following the Spirit, and I guess Christ's grace, we didn't talk much about the third because the bishop said it was the one we don't have to do anything for, because Christ did it for us.  He said obedience and following the Spirit can contradict each other as they did for Nephi when the Spirit told him to kill Laban.  In my mind the Spirit is what we need to be obedient to, so there is never a contradiction as they are part of the same thing.  And the bishop made sure to emphasize that because they contradict each other we are never to tell anyone else what we receive as personal revelation.  (oops.  Here I go.)


So what does this have to do with enduring to the end?  Well, hopefully I can write this clearly.  My thoughts have been jumping around and moving rather quickly this morning.  Enduring to the end needs some terms defined.  Often in the church we think "the end" is either death or judgment as in the end of our mortal existence.  But an "end" will often also mean a goal we have in mind.  What if "the end" can happen before we die, and is a specific goal we should be seeking?  Namely I would say the end we should have in our mind when we say "endure to the end" should be receiving our calling and election sure.  Then I would think that "enduring" is not merely getting through our trials, but rather it is continuing to seek after our end despite our trials and sacrifices that will be asked of us along the way.  Changing what we think of as the end completely changes what it would mean to endure on the journey there.  Enduring till you die, brings to mind the old, "keep on keeping on!"  While enduring to a goal brings to mind working hard to get there and achieve said goal.


To relate this back to the scripture in Moses, when we are baptized we do it to show obedience, and it is a symbol of giving up our old sinful life in favor of a new life that is in line with God's will.  Receiving the baptism of fire and the Spirit is the ability to continuously receive revelation for your life, one or more spiritual gifts, and line upon line, precept upon precept gain intelligence, light and truth and ultimately knowledge of the mysteries of God.  "By the Spirit ye are justified" means that wenever our actions are based on a prompting from the Spirit they are justified.  In the world they say "the end justifies the means," but this is not true.  It is the Spirit that justifies us before God.  An action specific to you (such as Nephi killing Laban) shouldn't be preached as what is right for everyone, we all have different life missions to receive revelation about.  But when it comes to teachings, we are not to hide our candle under a bushel and not share it with anyone.  We should not share mysteries of God that they need to learn for themselves, but things that might help them on that path to gain knowledge of the mysteries for themselves are important to share one with another that all may be edified and rejoice together.  We are to let our light so shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify our Father which is in heaven.  The Sacrament, in which we symbolically take the flesh and blood of Christ, is something we are commanded to take often, and as a repetitive thing should bring us closer and closer to God as we do it.  In the scripture, "by the blood ye are sanctified," the way we take of Christ's blood many times shows that this is a long process to sanctify our souls.  It is not an over night occurrence.  Continually seeking to be sanctified by the blood of Christ is part of enduring to our goal of receiving Him in person to have our calling and election made sure.

I hope the light and truth I share here can help you on your journey of actively working towards your goal of coming unto Christ in the flesh.  This is the desire of my heart and that others might see this, be enlightened thereby, and Glorify the Father who is in Heaven.  God loves you and is waiting for you to come unto Him and be perfected in Christ.  May God bless you on your journey.  I love you.

"In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me."

First I would like to make clear my reason for publishing this post.  It is not to gain glory or praise but rather it is to help give others the courage to reach out in love to their fellow man.  God has not led me into harms way, and I trust He will continue to do so.  The world has many needs and until we unitedly work together to help one another there will always be someone in need of a helping hand, a warm meal, a place to sleep, or a feeling of love.  I found one such today, and consider what I did for him to be a small simple thing, hardly worthy of notice, yet not many would do what I did today.

As I have been seeking to be closer to God, I have been praying for the opportunities to help my fellow man and use my gift of empathy and love to benefit others.  Today there was an ice storm, and my husband forgot to bring his ice scraper to work with him.  I offered, and brought it, found his car, and put it in for him so he'd be able to scrape his car off when he gets off work.  On the way out of the parking lot I passed a homeless man with a sign asking for food.  I felt like I needed to go back and help him.  I found a safe place to park and flashed my lights at him.  He came over and I offered to bring him to my home for dinner tonight since I was already planning on feeding company.  He accepted and got in.  He looked around at my four kids in the back of my van and asked if I was babysitting.

"Nope, they're all mine."

He went on to talk about the fact that he's doing what he's doing for survival.  I asked if he had a place to sleep tonight and said I could bring him there after dinner.  He had a daughter but didn't want to ask her for help.  He used to ridicule and judge the homeless.  I mentioned the scripture judge not that ye be not judged.  And we discussed it.  He told me he's a Christian and talked a lot about thinking people shouldn't judge him.  I talked about Christ teaching to care for the poor and the needy, and that that is why I decided to help him.  He asked what sort of gathering I'm having for dinner tonight, and I happened to be signed up to feed the missionaries.  He asked what church I belonged to and I told him, and then he asked hastily, "Is that the real time?"

"Yes, the clock is correct."

"I forgot I'm supposed to meet my sister."  And he gave me directions to drop him off at a church.  I think the prospect of dinner with missionaries scared him off, though it could be that he did in deed forget a meeting with his sister.  Either way I felt good that he could warm his hands and that he had a place to go.  I made it home with just enough time to cook dinner for the missionaries.

During dinner the sisters asked about my day and I told then about my trip out and helping the man with a sign, and his decision to forgo dinner with me when he learned of the missionaries being part of it.  After dinner I had a discussion with the sisters about trying to be close to God and that His Spirit gives me the confidence to do things to help others in need.  I never would have done something like this 3-4 months ago.  But having a prayer in my heart as I go through the day I can have the confidence that if helping someone would jeopardize the safety of myself and my children God would warn me.  But perfect love casteth out all fear, and as I love God more, and my fellow man more, I no longer fear what man can do.  To quote the bishop in Les Miserables, "Have no fear of robbers or murderers.  They are external dangers, petty dangers.  We should fear ourselves.  Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murderers.  The great dangers are within us.  Why worry about what threatens our heads or our purses?  Let us think instead of what threatens our souls."  Let us seek love and charity and if we are on the Lords errand he will protect us, but if not we will know that so too were the prophets of old persecuted and killed.  The only real fear is for our souls.

"And the Lord was not in the earthquake, and after the earthquake a still small voice...."

After returning to bed from healing our home and then writing about it, my baby started to stir.  I was exhausted and really needed more sleep before facing a day with my children.  I closed my eyes and pictured my aura again but this time as a soft arm reaching out to comfort my baby, and encompass him in my love.  He soon quieted and went back to sleep.  I was able to sleep as well with the first peaceful happy sleep I'd had for a while.

This morning I read that there was an earthquake in Oklahoma, and the shocks reached up into Kansas where I live, though they were not strong enough here to really feel anything or I slept through it.  I realized that the spiritual "earthquake" (evil portals opening) happens first and is followed by the earth having a physical earthquake.

I was so excited and happy about healing our home I wanted to tell my husband all about it.  As I started to try to explain it he looked at me like I'm crazy, "That sounds like supernatural stuff."

"Well, God IS supernatural.  'Supernatural' is just our word for things science can't explain.  The scriptures are full supernatural events.  In Moroni we are told that if miracles ceased it is because of unbelief."  And I proceeded with my explanation of the events of the night.

"Why would you tell me all this?  I have to leave in 15 min."

"Because I'm so happy I solved the problem and healed our home.  All the problems from the past few days were caused by this."  And we wrapped up the conversation and he left for work.

The kids got up, and for the first time in a while I was motivated to clean my kitchen and living room.  My children were more calm than they had been for the past several days.  They were no more or less rambunctious than their usual selves.  My husband came home feeling sick, and I asked him if he had any questions before he went to lay down.  He didn't but he acknowledged that our home felt happier than it previously had.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful.  I was actually motivated to get my house work done, which hadn't happened the whole time our home was oppressed.  I called my sister and we talked about what happened.  She had a bunch of questions I answered (If you have any feel free to leave a comment).  She asked if I could do it remotely for her home, but I couldn't.  We talked about the spiritual being created before the physical, and how it makes sense that the spiritual portals or rifts would happen before the earthquake.  Then she wondered if the same were true before storms.  We ended up concluding that there are spiritual storms that precede the physical ones.  She has noticed for a long time that her children fight a lot more right before a storm comes, and her husband, a teacher says the same is true for the kids at school.  It was all so very interesting and enlightening to me.

I hope this is helpful and enlightening to you too. As this world continues to have more natural disasters let us not neglect our spiritual preparation that can save us from the spiritual storms.  I love you and God does too.

"We war not with flesh and blood..."

Over the past 3-4 days I've had several problems in my home.  My baby who had been getting up 1-2 times a night was getting up 4-5 times.  My children were making messes in my living room much much faster than normal.  They were making messes in my kitchen too.  They were constantly fighting.  My son would run away into the yard when it was time to get on the school bus.  My husband was having insomnia.  I spent 2 days weeping, I thought because I felt alone in my journey to come unto Christ.  I was retreating from my duties to hide in our office much more than usual (I'm a total introvert and need my quiet time, but this had become excessive).  Old emotional triggers I thought I had healed were back.  I was having trouble connecting to God, I thought because of these old wounds, or because I just didn't have enough faith.

I joined a Facebook group for empaths, and someone there talked about the earth shifting and spiritual portals opening that let mischievous or evil or good spirits into a place.  While nursing my baby the fourth time last night I became aware of such a portal in my bedroom right between the crib and my bed.  I closed my eyes and spread my aura out to the borders of our property and asked it if there were more portals.  Then I started with the yard, was there one there?  yes.  Is there one in the kitchen? yes.  Is there one in the living room? yes.  Is there one in my bedroom?  yes.  Is there one in the bathroom? no.  Is there one in the office? no.  Is there one in the kids' room? no.  I visualized each portal as a tiny tornado and prayed and pictured it retreating back up into the ceiling.  Then I pictured some means of sealing the spiritual wound, until I had done this to each portal, praying and asking the Lord to close and heal them.  Then in the name of Christ I commanded any remaining spirits to depart.

Immediately upon finishing this process I felt peace and love from God fill me.  The only reason I thought I wasn't healed from my emotional wounds from years ago was because these spirits were blocking me from connecting with God at night as I had been doing very readily each night since I decided to seek Him.  I thought my faith must not be strong enough.  I now know I have faith and it is strong.

Everything started to make sense.  The reason my neat tidy 6 year old daughter played with her yogurt the way my 2 year old does.  The reason my kids were wilder and messier than normal.  The reason my son would run off when it was time to get on the bus.  The reason I retreated to the office where there was no portal. I hope to see immediate changes in their behavior just as I had received immediate peace fill me.

I'm so glad the Lord guided me to that Facebook group where there was an answer to my problem I didn't know I had.  God does love me.  He is looking out for me and my family.  He answers our prayers in real and powerful ways, sometimes, maybe often, His answers are set in motion before we even know what to pray for.  Come unto Christ and be made whole.  He can heal you.  He can heal your family.  He can heal your home.  He is all powerful and no problem no matter how insurmountable it may seem to us is too great for Him who gave His life for us.  And praise and glory be to the Father who provided a Savior for us.  A Savior who is continually saving us, not just once when He performed the atonement, but also is saving us NOW.  As we come unto Him He will help us in our fight.  " For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:12).  The fight is real, and it can be scary, but when we know we aren't fighting alone, perfect love will cast out all fear.  Fear not but be believing!

I love you!  Be of good cheer.  May God bless you in your home too!

"First cast the beam out of thine own eye."

I'm a humble person with lofty goals.  I want to do more to help this world than just raising my children.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I love being a mother, but I feel driven to do more and be more.  I want so much to do something that actually makes a difference for good in this evil world.  I don't care if I'm ever known or if it makes me any money (in fact using a Spiritual gift to make money seems to me to be a form of preistcraft).  I want to please God, and use my gift somehow to bless others.

I'd been browsing websites about empaths, and looking over books, and their reviews on amazon, and most deal with how to "cope" with being an empath.  I don't want to just cope, or get by, or manage this gift.  God gave me this gift for a reason, and it wasn't just to learn to recognize that an emotion isn't mine and then give it back.  I called my big sister for advice.  She had promised to find me a good reliable book when we first discussed my gift, and I hadn't heard back weeks later. While on the phone with her, she found a website that talked about letting bad energies in, then healing them into good before sending them back again.  I loved this idea.  To actually heal others feelings became my new goal.  It felt good to know a goal and know there was someone using her empathy to make a difference like I want to.  It's possible.

Then staring me in the face were my own hurts I've held over the years.  I know the first person I have to learn to heal is myself.  Once I heal myself, my own family will be next and teaching my daughter who I think might be an empath how to heal instead of meltdown.  Then I will see what more God might have in store for me.

Come Listen to a Prophet (unabridged)

More than Just another Pre-Conference Talk

I was asked to talk on “Come listen to a Prophet.”  This seems to be a common topic about every 6 months sometime soon before General Conference.  So I know exactly what is expected of me, but the Lord spoke to me in my heart saying I should not give the talk which I know is expected, and I should give the talk He should give me.  He told me this is a time for me to prove that I fear God more than man.  Listening to the Voice of God is what we should really strive for.  Sometimes that voice is delivered through His prophets, sometimes through other unexpected people, and sometimes it comes directly to us.  God wants us to come unto Him and listen to His Voice.  He does not want us to discredit any source of truth nor to take something as truth just because of the credentials of the person who said it, but rather He wants us to confirm truth with the Holy Ghost.  “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye shall know the truth of all things.”  I hope you will seek the Holy Ghost to know the truth of the words I speak here today.

To start out let us go back to the basics and establish what a prophet is.  From the Bible Dictionary, “The work of a Hebrew prophet was to act as God’s messenger and make known God’s will.  The message was usually prefaced with the words ‘Thus saith Jehovah.’”  This is important because it allows us to differentiate between the opinions of a man who might be called as a prophet, and the actual words that were revealed from the Voice of God to be taught to his people.  The scriptures are full of examples of this.  I think my favorite is Abinadi saying, “Behold thus saith the Lord, and thus hath He commanded me, saying, Go forth, and say unto this people, thus saith the Lord –” (Mosiah 11:20) and he proceeds to call the people of King Noah to repentance.  And then so as to leave no confusion he concludes, “and thus saith the Lord and thus hath he commanded me.”  These days we never here these words in conference by the men we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators, yet we read it over and over in the scriptures and especially in the Doctrine and Covenants.  So to really get to the Word of God for our dispensation we need to go back to the scriptures we received through the Prophet Joseph Smith for the pure doctrines of Christ, as received straight from the Voice of God.  Come to the scriptures and listen to the prophets as recorded therein, for there we know we are receiving the word of God for us, and much of it is specifically for our dispensation written by prophets who saw our day.

What else qualifies a prophet?  A prophet is really anyone who speaks by the spirit of prophecy.  In Numbers 11:24-29 we read,
    “And Moses went out, and told the people the words of the Lord, and
     gathered the seventy men of the elders of the people, and set them round
     about the tabernacle.  And the Lord came down in a cloud, and spake
     unto him and took of the spirit that was upon him, and gave it unto the
     seventy elders: and it came to pass, that, when the spirit rested upon them,
     they prophesied, and did not cease. But there remained two of the men in
     the camp, the name of the one was Eldad, and the name of the other
     Medad: and the spirit rested upon them; and they were of them that
     were written, but went not out unto the tabernacle: and they prophesied
     in the camp.  And there ran a young man, and told Moses, and said,
     Elad and Medad do prophesy in the camp.  And Joshua the son of Nun,
     the servant of Moses, one of his young men, answered and said, My Lord
     Moses, forbid them.  And Moses said unto him, Enviest thou for my sake?
     Would God that all the Lord’s people were prophets, and that the Lord
     would put his spirit upon them!”

Moses did not envy the gift of prophesy given to men among the Israelites, rather he encouraged it.  From this we learn that there can be any number of prophets, and what qualifies them is that the Lord pours out His Spirit upon them and they have the gift or prophecy.  In Words of Mormon we see another example of there being multiple prophets, we read in verses 16-18,
    “And after there had been false prophets, and false preachers and
     teachers among the people, and all these having been punished
     according to their crimes; and after there having been much contention
     and many dissentions away unto the Lamanites, behold, it came to pass
     that king Benjamin, with the assistance of the holy prophets who were
     among his people—For behold, king Benjamin was a holy man, and he
     did reign over his people in righteousness; and there were many holy
     men in the land, and they did use much sharpness because of the
     stiffneckedness of the people – Wherefore, with the help of these, king
     Benjamin, by laboring with all the might of his body and the faculty of
     his whole soul, and also the prophets, did once more establish peace
     in the land.” 

King Benjamin as great a man as he was still needed the help of other prophets in the land.  And they worked together to teach the people.  They didn’t contend with each other for who should have the title of “THE Prophet.”  They cared only to teach the people and establish peace in the land. It did not divide the people rather it united them in Christ.  Today we each have our own callings and stewardships.  We should all seek for whichever gifts of the Spirit help us in fulfilling our callings within the church.  It is fully within your rights to seek the gift of prophesy to assist you in your lessons and sacrament meeting talks.  That we all might come listen to a prophet’s voice EVERY Sunday by attending our regular meetings would be awesome.

What do prophets teach and prophesy about?  This is answered in Jacob 7 while he is discussing with an anti-Christ, in verse 10 Jacob asks, “Believest thou the scriptures? And he answered, Yea.”  In verse 11 Jacob replies, “Then ye do not understand them; for they truly testify of Christ.  Behold, I say unto you that none of the prophets have written, nor prophesied, save they have spoken concerning this Christ.”  From this we learn that all prophets testify of Christ.  Nephi teaches this as well in 2 Nephi 25:26 “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophesies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”  From this we learn that preaching and prophesying is centered on Christ for the purpose that our children will know to what source they should look for a remission of their sins.  No other subject of prophesy will save us and our children.  Any man claiming to prophesy who does not plainly and readily teach and testify of Christ is a false prophet.  As we teach one another we must remember to make Christ the center of our teachings.  And as we seek to listen to a prophet’s voice let us be mindful that Christ is the center of the teachings we receive.

We are warned many times in the scriptures about these perilous times we live in today.  In 2 Nephi 28 he expounds on many downfalls he saw in our day.  In verse 14 he says, “They shall wear stiff necks and high heads; yea, and because of pride, and wickedness, and abominations, and whoredoms, they have all gone astray” (and I’d like to point out you can’t go astray unless you have the truth to begin with, so he’s talking about us here) continuing, “they have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ; nevertheless, they are led that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of men.”  We need to be continuously seeking to know God’s will for us personally. Then as a humble follower of Christ we need to be cautious that we are not lead astray by the precepts of men.  In verse 31 of that same chapter Nephi says, “Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of men, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost.”  If we do not take the things we hear in conference, or sacrament meeting, or our classes, or wherever, to the Lord to be confirmed by His Spirit we are putting our trust in the arm of flesh.  We need to seek not just for a prophet to listen to, but for the direct Voice of God to us.  Come listen to the Voice of God alone in a quiet place with the humility and willingness to follow what He says FOR YOU.

To truly be a humble follower of Christ you need to constantly seek the Spirit to help you discern between truth and error, between true prophets and apostles, and false prophets and apostles.  In 2 Corinthians 11:12-13 we read, “But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we.  For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.”  This was a problem in the New Testament church that led to the apostasy of the early Christian church. Today we seem to think we are exempt from such problems.  However God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and just as he could not take away the agency of those who sought to be false apostles in the past likewise today he cannot take the agency of those who would lead this church astray.  In Doctrine and Covenants 64:39-40 we are warned, “And Liars and hypocrites shall be proved by them [them being the inhabitants of Zion], and they who are not apostles and prophets shall be known.  And even the bishop, who is a judge, and his counselors, if they are not faithful in their stewardships shall be condemned, and others shall be planted in their stead.”  Every dispensation after God calls prophets there are three categories of people, first, those who listen and follow, second, those who seem to follow but seek to teach their own ideas as truth and mingle it with scripture, and third, those who ignore or persecute the prophet and his followers.  This second group who mingle the teachings of men with scripture is the root cause of apostasy.  These are the false apostles and false prophets.  It is NOT the persecution on the outside that leads to apostacy; it is those on the inside, who corrupt the doctrines of Christ and lead astray those who are seeking truth, and our dispensation today is not an exception.  This is why scriptures are always warning us against false prophets.  In Mathew 7:15-20, and 3 Nephi 14:15-20 we are taught,
    “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but
     inwardly they are ravening wolves.  Ye shall know them by their fruits. 
     Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?  Even so every
     good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth
     evil fruit.  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit neither can a corrupt
     tree bring forth good fruit.  Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit
     is hewn down, and cast into the fire.  Wherefore, by their fruits ye
     shall know them.” 

What are the fruit we should look for to tell a false prophet from a true prophet of God?  Galatians 5 teaches,
    “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery,
     fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred,
     variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envying, murders,
     drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before,
     as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall
     not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
     peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance:” 

Of everything we hear from one who claims to be a prophet we must prayerfully seek the Spirit to confirm whether it is truth.  And the fruit it produces will show us whether they are of God or of man. When you do come listen to a prophet, be sure to personally seek the Spirit and look to the fruit of his teachings to see if he is truly a prophet or if he is actually a false prophet.

When we listen to the teachings of any man we need to know how to discern the truth which comes from God, from the errors which come from the devil.   In Moroni 7 we are taught further how to discern truth from error.  In verses 11-13, 16 it reads:
    “For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither
     can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being
     a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he
     cannot be a servant of the devil.  Wherefore, all things which are good
     cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the
     devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against Him continually, and
     inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.  But
     behold, that which is of God inviteth  and enticeth to do good continually;
     wherefore every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love
     God, and to serve him, is inspired of God….For behold, the Spirit of Christ
     is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I
     show unto you the way to judge; for every thing  which inviteth to do
     good and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and
     gift of Christ; wherefore you may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.”

These are the tools given to us that we might not be deceived.  All the things we are taught by men should be put to this test.  Does it invite us to believe in Christ?  Does it invite us to do good and serve God?  Does the Spirit of Christ confirm it in our hearts and minds?  We live in uncertain times but there are things we can know of a certainty if we put it to this test. We can know what is and isn’t of God.  As we seek to listen to a prophet’s voice let us put everything to this test that we may know whether it is of God. 

Now after we have tested and confirmed and we know someone spoke as a prophet, we know their words are true and inspired by the Holy Ghost, because the Holy Ghost has confirmed it to us personally, we see the fruits that they are good, they inspire us to believe in Christ, and to serve God, what then?  In Doctrine and Covenants 68:4 we read, “And whatsoever they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost shall be scripture, shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the Voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation.”  So, we should regard it as scripture and study it with our scriptures.  Most of all we should use it as a springboard for our personal revelation to seek out God’s will for us personally.  Because just listening to a prophet’s voice will not save us.  We are only saved as we sacrifice to follow God’s Voice to us whatever source it comes from.  Let us not only come listen to a prophet, and confirm his teachings are true and from God, but then let us faithfully and humbly act on what we hear the Voice of the Lord speak to our hearts and minds that we should do.

 
And now the Lord hath commanded that I, Camilla, say unto you, this ward:  Behold, Thus saith the Lord, there are some among my church with whom I am displeased, for they set up the leaders and look unto them for salvation.  Behold, this is idolatry, for none can save but Christ.  See that this practice is not found among you.  Look unto Christ in every thought.  Doubt not, fear not.  The time soon cometh, saith the Lord, that my arm shall be revealed; see that ye are numbered among the humble followers of Christ, and not the prideful followers of men.  And thus hath the Voice of the Lord commanded me that I must say and I must obey. 

I bare you my witness that God lives.  That He speaks to His people who are the humble followers of Christ.  His sheep will hear His Voice whatever source it comes from.  Christ is the only name under heaven by which we can be saved.  Joseph Smith the prophet is the head of our dispensation.  The Book of Mormon is the word of God and scripture for our day.  God is the same yesterday, today, and forever; He never lies.  Therefore, any supposed new revelation if it contradicts established scripture is the work of a false prophet.  Let us all seek the gift of discernment to know for ourselves what is truth and then seek the humility to live it.  In the name of Jesus Christ, to whom I will be accountable for the words I have spoken here today, Amen.