A Woman Without a Religion

About nine months ago I started wearing head coverings.  After a couple weeks of begging God for answers to a question He finally (instead of answering the question) instructed me to wear head coverings.  I did it every day for a few months, and I researched them (something I hadn't been doing about my question; I wanted the easy answer).  I grew to love them for multiple reasons.  I had a halo of frizzy regrowth after some postpartum hair loss that it conveniently hid, it kept my baby from pulling my hair, it kept my ears warm in the winter time, it kept the wind from blowing my hair in my face, and I felt pretty in them.  These were the practical and superficial reasons for it.  The biggest reason to wear it went much deeper.  I felt closer to God by obeying a direction that came personally to me, and my attention was drawn to Him more throughout the day as I had a physical reminder of something I was doing only for Him every day.

So now as I go about my days I've been asked a couple times by people I've met if I'm Muslim.  No, I'm not.  I've never read the Quran.  But how do I explain who I really am?  Mormons don't accept me as one of them because I don't believe in blindly following their modern prophet.  Christians, I've been afraid to admit to them that I still believe in the Book of Mormon, and I believe that bad things Joseph Smith is said to have done, are rumors spread by his enemies.  And for anyone who isn't Christian it brings to mind a variety of bad things Christians have done in the name of their religion that I don't agree with.  I feel no loyalty with the Remnant Movement started by Denver Snuffer.  I'm grateful for the stepping stone it was in my transition leaving the Mormon church, but don't quite agree with some things happening among their group either.  Messianic Jewish seems the best fit, but their services are at times difficult to attend.  And most people have no clue what that means, which is okay, I can explain it to some degree, but not very well since I haven't been attending with them very long and have much to learn myself.  So if they have any questions beyond my simple explanation I'm unable to answer them. Talking to my atheist/agnostic brother-in-law he said, "So you're agnostic. That's a start.  You can't go straight from Mormonism to atheist.  I was agnostic for years before I was atheist."  Almost as if I was on the way to atheism because I no longer believe in the men who lead a worldly cooperate institution.  So I explained that my relationship with God is stronger now than it ever was, and I still believe in a specific God so "agnostic" doesn't seem right either.  And talking with my husband, even he didn't understand my aversion to labels, saying, "We're just Christian."

Labels are a way of lumping people together and associating them with other similar people.  The problem is that most these labels end up misrepresenting parts of that group.  Some people lump together Muslims into one group, and even though the violent terrorists are the minority among them, all the rest are guilty by association.  Likewise with race labels.  People of one group label people of another group and consider the other group to be guilty of whatever the worst people among them have done.  Guilt by association.  This is the most divisive thing we as people do.  And we do it as much with religion as we do with race.  Dividing those who believe in one thing from those who believe in another.  Rather than loving each other regardless of what we each believe and building on common ground, and discussing with the purpose of understanding one another and realizing we both probably have truth to offer the other that we hadn't previously considered.  But instead we are often too caught up in trying to convince others of our ideas to stop and consider theirs.

Ultimately no label fits who I am.  My journey is more complex than that. When it comes down to it, nothing feels quite right except to say I am a lover of God, a lover of people, a humble follower of Christ, and a seeker of truth. 

Things We Couldn't Say... at the Mormon Church

My sister from western Colorado asked if she could write a guest post, and she being my sister, I agreed.  Enjoy.

A Guest Post By Diane Cummings

I was recently told, by someone who believes himself to be in a position to know, that quoting Scripture in church is not okay. Apparently, only people who are "apostate" quote scripture. Or, at least, "apostates are really good at making it sound as though scripture justifies their position." I find this to be a very curious concept. Why, I wonder, would scripture sound like it is backing an alternative position so easily? I think it does back an alternative point of view; not because of twisting the meaning, but because of believing what the scripture literally says.

Let’s look at some real-life examples and see where it leads us.

YW Leader: So if you were suffering from depression, what should you do?
Beehive: I would pray.
YW Leader: Well, you could pray, but you should talk to the Bishop about it, because he has the authority.

What do scriptures say about this?

2 Nephi 28:5 says: "And they deny the power of God, the Holy One of Israel; and they say unto the people: Hearken unto us, and hear ye our precept; for behold there is no God today, for the Lord and the Redeemer hath done his work, and he hath given his power unto men;"(emphasis mine).

This did have the desired effect, though, on the girls. Later, the same girl raised her hand to answer a question. When called upon, she only said, "Never mind." Ah, the sweet sound of a successfully stifled opinion.

How about this example?

Leader: How can you know if something is true?
Me: If it agrees with the word of God in the scriptures, it’s true. If it disagrees with those scriptures, then it isn’t true.
Leader: But you have to believe in modern revelation. If a modern prophet says something, it trumps the scriptures.
Me: No, it doesn’t. Scriptures win, every time.
Leader: Was Jesus a living prophet?
Me: Yes.
Leader (triumphant): And he trumped the scriptures!
Me: No, he didn’t. He lived the law perfectly.

There’s more to it than that, really. He kept the law of Moses. He fulfilled the law. He fulfilled the scriptures. He quoted the scriptures. He did not live, keep, or teach the traditions that had been allowed to replace the scriptures in importance. You see the difference? He kept the law as God told it to Moses, not the tradition taught by the Pharisees. He quoted the scriptures, not the leaders of the day. He did the work of his Father, not the work of his ecclesiastical leaders. We would be without a Savior if Jesus had put the will of men before the will of God; but he didn’t. He did the will of his Father. He fulfilled it all.

If, on the other hand, you say that anything a modern leader says can trump the scriptures, and you’re talking about some of the verses in 3 Nephi 11 where Jesus is teaching the people about baptism (which Leader did bring up), then what you’re really saying is that modern leaders can trump Jesus. Not okay. That is a real apostasy.

The following conversations are composite accounts of various real conversations, had recently between myself and said Leader.

Leader: In scripture Jesus says, when he was teaching the Nephites, "I declare unto you my doctrine." And a few verses later, he says, "And whoso shall declare more or less than this, and establish it for my doctrine, the same cometh of evil." So anything other than what the church teaches is apostasy.
Me: You skipped the verses that say what his doctrine actually is. In verses 30-35 of 3 Nephi 11, the passage you mentioned, we find out what the doctrine is: Do away with contention. Repent and believe in Jesus. Believe in him, and get baptized. We, as a church, have declared more than this and established it for doctrine. You have to repent, believe in him, pay your tithing, and not have gay parents. This is not what the scripture said.

In fact, the idea that you have to pay tithing to get baptized sounds a lot like Mormon 8:32, which says: "Yea, it shall come in a day when there shall be churches built up that shall say: Come unto me, and for your money you shall be forgiven of your sins." This is not a good thing, and the next verse continues the condemnation Moroni began back around verse 27. In verse 33 he goes on: "O ye wicked and perverse and stiffnecked people, why have ye built up churches to get gain? Why have ye transfigured the holy word of God, that ye might bring damnation upon your souls? Behold, look ye to the revelations of God; for behold, the time cometh at that day when all these things must be fulfilled."

Leader: Isaiah 24:5 says: "The earth also is defiled under the inhabitants thereof; because they have transgressed the laws, changed the ordinance, broken the everlasting covenant." So we have to be really careful when dealing with apostates.
Me: In that verse it says the earth is defiled because the people have changed the ordinance. The church has changed the ordinances. The church has changed the endowment many times.
Leader: What do you mean by "the church?" Who do you mean?
Me: I mean the leaders.

Let’s take a closer look at this verse. Who, today, has "authority" to change the ordinances? The leadership of the church. Can the common members change the ordinance? No, only the leaders. Have the common members changed the endowment? No, the leaders have; although some of those changes were based on opinion polling and focus groups, which is a whole different topic. Have the common members changed the initiatory? No, the leaders have. All changes to wording, procedure, recordings, etc. in any of these ordinances has been done by the leadership. This verse is a warning to the leaders, and a caution to the lay members in listening to or following the leaders rather than following God.

Me: You really haven’t been very clear. How do I know if something I would say is "apostate" or not?
Leader: You ask me. I’ll tell you if it’s apostate doctrine.

A scripture applicable here would be 2 Nephi 26:29 – "He commandeth that there shall be no priestcrafts; for, behold, priestcrafts are that men preach and set themselves up for a light unto the world, that they may get gain, and praise of the world; but they seek not the welfare of Zion."

It seems to me that telling people to ask you, rather than to ask God, is setting yourself up as a light. Why is Leader the great source of all knowledge? They aren’t pointing us to God anymore. They point to themselves saying, "We know what is and is not okay. Ask us."

These examples are some of the reasons I choose a literal interpretation of scripture, rather than a tradition-protecting interpretation. I think the scriptures–and God–mean what they say. I have found this view of the scriptures is "good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding; yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me." (Alma 32:28, at the end) I cannot turn my back on God, even if it leads me in unexpected directions. I love the Lord and want to put him first in my life. I choose to put my trust in him, not in any mortal man. (2 Nephi 4:34) This is my desire and testimony.


Diane Cummings
4 Nov. 2016

The Real Love of Christ and Dreaming Dreams

Wow!  I was talking to my sister about her idea to write a guest post and realized it had been a couple months since I've written.  School started, and we've been bombarded by problems that I won't bore you with, but despite all that I think it time I record the next chapter of my spiritual journey.

I joined a group on Facebook about divine dreams, and at first thought it would be just for fun, but the longer I was there the more I learned about my own gift for dreaming.  I learned the meaning of a significant dream from my childhood and threw myself into seeking learning from God about the direction he wants for my life.  Having found joy in service at a nondenominational church after a while it seemed I'd learned about what they had to offer.  Then I started having dreams that gave me the impression it was time for me to move on somewhere that would offer more and deeper knowledge.  I remembered a woman telling me about a Messianic Jewish Synagogue.  I started feeling the desire to learn more about the Jewish roots of Christianity, after all Christ was himself a Jew and taught Judaism, and while the sacrifice of Christ fulfilled the Law of Moses so there was no more need to sacrifice animals, Jesus being the last "sacrificial lamb", there are other aspects of the law that can and likely should be kept.  In my heart, I feel that learning more about these laws will inform me of more of the nature of God and His character.  I decided to seek out and attend one of these Messianic Jewish Synagogues.

After attending a Friday night service I notified the people I served with at the Christian church I had found.  The contrast between their reaction and the reaction I got from Mormons when I differed with them on some matters of doctrine was so stark it was truly astonishing to me.  The reaction of Mormons had been to gossip, shun, or argue or some combination thereof.  Here, they prayed for me and my family and our journey, told me they would miss me, hugged me, and reminded me I was always welcome.  They accepted and validated my spiritual journey agreeing I had to follow what God had placed in my heart and I felt nothing but love from them.  There was no judgment whatsoever.  I almost couldn't believe it!  Was this what it was like for normal Christians?  They just do what feels right in their own spiritual journey, and allow others to do the same, and just love each other with the love Christ preached?  What an idea!  It was such a refreshing experience I almost rethought my decision.  My kids had fun there, and I could do something more productive if the sermon wasn't a topic that would enrich me.  Last week I couldn't get myself to go because I knew the topic was relating to how to decide who to vote for, and I've already decided and this not being a political blog I'll say no more about that, just that it wasn't how I wanted to spend a Sunday.  Perhaps this next week, or perhaps not, either way I know I am welcome and loved there despite believing things that are not common held beliefs in the congregation.  And with that example of Christlike love I don't think I've met a more Christian bunch of Christians anywhere else!